Hang in there Chris,
Have you been in Plan A all this time?
Haven't heard much from you lately.
Good luck when you meet with her today.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

HI wallace, doing ok trying to keep away from the major low spots on the rollercoaster. meeting did not happpen. then we set one for monday and she cancelled later. sent W an email apologizing for a comment on monday and she replied with a pretty scathing letter on that is why she is divorcing me and she is moving on and I should do the same. I will not move on I will stand for this marriage, no matter what.

Be patient, and keep up with your Plan A.
Try to avoid any LB's... your WW is looking for any excuse she can to validate her actions.
Don't give her any, work on you and hopefully she will see the positive changes.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Hi C, well I resisted and tried to stall my WW from filing, she filed in oct 2001 then stalled for 3 months as I planned B'ed her. Then she proceeded after wrestling with God in Jan 2002, DV final in May. I remember I kept telling her I wouldn't sign anything or participate and let it all default to her favor we had no attorneys involved, however I had to sign to keep visits open with my kids and keep my personal possessions.

How do I feel looking back now?? By not signing it did not nothing for me, I could have been further ahead of the pain if I had signed sooner, but thats our faith holding on. Did God let me down, no, because he said :

Ps 1
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

So even though I stood, I had to move out her way. Sometimes standing means moving out of the way so they can have what they want in order for them to fall. A haughty spirit and pride comes before the fall.

My now xw at that time said I was no fun, I held her back, I was the problem on and on. Well tables have turned and party time is collasping, I plan A and B, then C.

Well here I am 2 months later having to file a paper to the court to drop 18 year from CS, I spoke to a lawyer he said had I had an attorney I would have never been ordered to pay CS for the 18 since end of school was so close to Dv-date, but he said thats fine I saved myself a lot of money by agreeing with her.

I asked him how much he would charge to file this new paper he said I didn't need him, he said I could really do it myself and he said if I got xw to agree the process would even go faster and avoid a court appearence, I would have to fly to Florida if she didn't agree, asked xw to agree she was ready to sign, no fuss.

No matter what happens you are not on the losing end, trust me.

I thought she had it all and was living the good life, I thought I was the source of her unhapiness, but as soon as she was gone I excelled, she is now living in what I walked out of but I thought it was me but it was really her all along, she said she wanted a happy home and the good life, but she's miserable even with OM in her life, Kids are depressed.

The only thing different I would have done before I signed was sent her a certified letter stating I was only signing not because I agree with this divorce but I'm signing to keep visits open with my kids and keep family special items which she was willing to pitch, I say this because she later turned the divorce on me and said I was for it because I signed, therefore she threw her guilt on me through, manipulation....

Update: As I'm writting this, I just get an email from xw saying, Have you sent the paper yet? I'm waiting, Hmmmm??

Of course I'm going to say not yet, but this is an opportunity to see where she's at, she seems to be nice and pushing dropping daughter from CS, maybe its the guilt, who knows, maybe she feels sorry for me I'm getting hammered financial unjustly, who knows...I always took great care of my kids, they always were one of the best dressed.

So anyway do whats best for you that you stay strong.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by chrisneilsen:
<strong>Once againg told wife I was sorry for everything and that there is lots of help out there for any situation including ours. She does not want to hear it, says she just wants to get this divorce over.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can you say, "SHE'S IN THE FOG!" because she sure is! Perhaps you can take comfort in something I read in a Christian Marriage Book "Most affairs run their normal course and burn themselves out." Which means that, yes, the fog lifts and the persons in the affair realize that they've basically traded one set of problems for another - the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence as it looks. Take heart, and do a LOT of praying!
May God bless you, Harold

Thank you all so much some great info here. I was beginning to wonder if anyone was still here. today is my last day to respond to the D papers. yesterday I went to courthouse and had a letter to the judge placed in our file that says that I am choosing to take no part in divorce and that I would do anything to save our M. I will stand no matter what, but praying God will move on the heart of the judge and he/she will do something out of the ordinary. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Let God lead your path, as you know that what you are standing for is the right thing to do.
Stand on your convictions.
Let whatever happens be the Lords will.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Thank you Wallace. How is your battle going? I had a vry emotional talk with the wife tuesday night. she is trying to do her finances and finsh the divorce papers. she is really straped on money and stressed. I have offered to help any way possible (just trying to show love)

Hi Chris,
It sounds like your working your plan A... that is good to hear.
I wouldn't go out of your way to help her expedite the "D" proceedings or paper work.
If she wants the "D" that bad let her do all the leg work.
How emotional was your talk with your "W"?
I hope you maintained the positive side while you were talking.
Put God first, and let him lead your way on this one.
As far as my battle? I am getting hammered by bill collectors from all the debt my STBXW ran up on me before she left. Aside from that, I'm maintaining.
Keep us posted as things move along, be it good, bad or indifferent.
Stay Strong!
Wallace