Maybe I have myself to blame for this one. I was nice enough to allow my exH to buy me out of the house. Now I wished I would have just sold it on the market. He has been living with the OW fulltime since last fall. I thought that he was just using the OW for a place to live until the house deal was final. Guess I was wrong totally. Now she is moving in with him into my dream house. If that isn't just the icing on the cake and the last nail he could put in my coffin. I feel so much more hurt and anger now that she could possibly go and live in what was once my dream house. I picked out everything in that house WE picked out the stuff for us and now she is the one living there with my exH. She wanted everything in my life she got my husband she got my house and what do I have. The heartache, the lonliness the anger. And they just go on their merry way with the perfect life. Where is there any justice in this? What did I do so wrong to deserve this? Any help would be greatly appreciated right now. I feel so lost and hurt.

I know the pain you're feeling. My WH wanted to do the same thing early on but now says he wouldn't be able to stand living on our dream house.<p>Don't be so sure that they are living happily ever after together in that house. Your WH knows that it is YOUR dream house and will be reminded of that everytime he is there. Also, OW knows it's YOUR dream house too. I bet she feels really icky living there knowing that you were the one that designed everything. OW also knows that your WH knows that it is your dream house and so it is probably making OW jealous as we speak. <p>It's good WH is there because now he has to face the memories of your relationship on that house on a daily basis, and if they are doing any thing they shouldn't be - they are doing it where you both used to be and that can't be all that comfortable for OW at least.<p>Don't beat yourself up about it because it is probably causing OW more trouble than you think. K

Key words, YOUR dream house.<p>She has to look at your carpet, your pictures, your furniture, all your design ideas, colors, that house is all about you honey.<p>I don't think it's a blow. It's something for you to laugh at. He loved you enough to do the dream house thing, then he puts her in yours? What a prince. <p>She is either going to bury him with remodel and interior design bills or get so sick of being reminded of you that she bolts.<p>Hang tight.<p>E

Wow does this sound familiar. My ExH moved the OW into my dream home a few months ago as well. This was a 6,000sq foot Victorian home that we renovated together with authentic turn of the century items together. He left me 3 months before we were to move in. I have let him live in the home until it sells... but he recently moved the OW into the home with him. He says she lives in the guest suite when the kids are with him... like that helps. I do not have much words of encouragement, just to say that you do not deserve the pain you are feeling. What I do know however, is that true happiness is not found in the material things, and he and the OW can gladly keep the house, I just want to find a real partner to share my life with, and the size of the house we share will be of no consequence.<p>Ally<p>[ May 18, 2002: Message edited by: allyo ]<p>[ May 18, 2002: Message edited by: allyo ]</p>

Thanks for the support. I really needed to hear some signs of encouragement right now that this "bliss" they are experiencing at my expense may just come back to haunt them. I know I would never want to live in a house that was built for and by someone else but then again I wouldn't set out to catch a married man either. I did get a fair price for the house so it isn't like I wasn't paid for my equity in it. It is just the hurt and anger that I feel. On one positive note I did just find out this morning that my exH just got a reassessment notice and the assessment went up by $45,000. Last time this happened I was the one that did the research and went to grievance day to have the assessment reduced. Wonder if the OW will help him out of this one?

why oh why -<p>at this point, you have to let go, and focus on yourself and your future and your life. . . what he does etc is no longer any of your business, and yes, maybe you should have forced the sale, however its too late now. . .<p>you need to practice indifference, to be indifferent to what was. . . your dreams are no longer a reality. . . and that is one of the hardest parts of divorce. . . I know it was for me. . .<p>OK, your assumption that they have the perfect life because they have your dream house is a pretty big assumption. . . Do you know that this assumption is a fact? do you know that this fact will persevere? i tend to doubt it. . . so lets learn to not make more of the situation than there really is. . . houses do not make perfect lives. . . honesty, truth, responsibility, and respect make perfect lives. . . are you working on these attributes?<p>so as much as it hurts, wish them well, and then put all thoughts of them out of your mind, and learn to be happy for what you have . . . . not sad for what you don't have. . . .<p>wiftty<p>[ May 18, 2002: Message edited by: WhenIfindthetime ]</p>

why oh why...<p> What can I possibly say to you. Take solace in this:
"Justice may be blind, but she is patient."
In due time, the injustice of the pain and agony that they have caused will be their undoing. Wiffty is right. For now, you need to put this behind you now and focus on yourself and your needs. Sooner or later th OW will go after another, leaving X high and dry. And he will get what he deserves.<p>
"Time wounds all heels"
Crypto