I was feeling so good this week because H & OW had a huge fight on Sun about me that I heard because their phone was off the hook and they didn't know it had dialed me. She was a raving lunatic and was even choking H. I thought for sure that would be the end of them because he told her to pack her things and be gone by the time he returned.<P>I spoke with Steve Harley and my therapist here at home and we all decided that I should tell H that I still love him and want to make this marraige work(in case he forgot). By the way, we are having our first 4-way meeting tomorrow morning with our attorneys. I called H at office and told him there were some things I wanted to say to him in person and asked if we could meet tonight. He wanted to know what I wanted to talk about and why after 3.5 mos of not speaking with him would I want to talk--what is my motivation. He told me he has a concert to go to tonight and even if he wasn't, he wouldn't meet me. H said he is happy and has gotten on with his life and he suggests that I do the same. And then he asks me if I realized that he has been out of the house for almost 1 year(Nov). H also informed me that he didn't want this meeting tomorrow and that he is not going to be in the room during the meeting(he will be in another room). He asked me what the meeting was about and if my attorney is after blood. I told him "I guess we'll find out tomorrow what the meeting is about". <P>There goes my theory that his life is miserable with pyscho b****. I know she didn't move her stuff because her car was at his apt Tues night. I honestly can't see H in a relationship that is a volatile as the one with OW. <P>I feel like giving up and trying to move on with my life. I have read all the books on affairs and all the statistics have been my ray of hope. Now, he just shattered that dream again. I don't know how much more I can take. I wish I knew when he would wake up; I'm just hoping I haven't given up by then because it would be so sad.<P>

Jackie,<BR>I feel so bad for you. It sounds like you and I are in the same boat.<BR>Your H does not sound like he is happy. He sounds like he is bitter and has a lot of resentment. I would not go on his words that he is happy and has moved on with his life. The only thing that he has moved, is his body out of your house, into someone elses.<BR>One day he will wake up and see what a terrible thing he has done. He will wake up one day.<BR>You do need to take care of yourself. I know that is is difficult. I know exactly where you are. I feel your pain and anger.<BR>Try not to let him egg you on. Try your hardest tomorrow to look your best( get a GOOD night's sleep), be as polite to him as you can, and even if he is in the other room, go out of your way to smile at him when you see him.<BR>This will not be easy. Find that strength inside of you and be your very best.<BR>Give your problems to God, Jackie. He is there for you and He feels the ache in your heart. Give it over to God and tomorrow will go well.<BR>I will keep you in my prayers. I'm here for you.<BR>Good luck and God bless you,<BR>Cheryl

Jackie:<P>I say that you still execute the plan (tell him that you love him and want to make it work). No lovebusters, don't let on that you know his life isn't so rosy. Just make that statement.<P>Believe it or not, I heard much crazier things from my wife. I agree with ceecee---your husband isn't acting happy. He's acting like he's pissed that he's made a mess of his life, and he's blaming you (among others). Great opportunity to turn the other cheek, and let him know that you still care for him.

Ceecee & k:<P>Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. <P>Well, we had our meeting this morning and H was present in the room. The meeting was a little draining and I can't help but feel this is the beginning of the end. My attorney really just had some questions about his business so that was the main portion of the meeting. I am bumming because we will have to sell the house. H said he can't afford it and my attorney said there is really nothing she can do about it. Hopefully with the proceeds from the sale of the house I can buy a nice 3-bedroom house in the same school district for me and the boys. I'm so sad because this was our dream house and we only moved into it 3 years ago. <P>H got into a little tiff with my attorney at the meeting--she isn't going to put up with any of his s***. She really is a good attorney and she is tough. She kept telling them that her main concern is the welfare of me and the boys. <P>I feel like giving up at times but I just can't convince my heart to do so. I know that this affair can't last, but it seems like it's never going to end. At times I feel that she is meeting alll his needs and I am just an annoyance to him. When is this going to end? If this doesn't work out, I hope he really kicks himself because I gave him so many opportunities to make this work. At that time, I only hope he lives a life of misery with the pysco b****. How can he be happy with a woman who is so controlling, possessive, jealous and manipulative? When's he going to wake up and smell the coffee????!!!<P>Well, as you can tell, I'm feeling pretty s*****. I'm going to see a really funny movie tonight--I sure do need it. <P>I <P>