know that sounds crazy. My peacher keeps preaching "no more pity parties" get over it go on with your life. It made me take a long look at my life now & what was before.<p>there have been some good come of this mess. <p>1. lost the 20 lbs that I could never take off before. I look at it as a good thing & owe H a thank you for that one. <p>2. became more independent & grew up fast.

3. Doing repair jobs around the house, before I was asking H to do, now I do them or at least try.<p>4. Taking charge of my life, before I had to ask H what to do first before I did anything.<p>5. Became closer to our son, now I'm having to be both a mom & dad and loving every minute of it.<p>6. Going to church and hanging around a different kind of people. <p>7. Was shy before, didnt speak up, now you cant shut me up.<p>8. Doing the finances, havent did bills or checkbook in 17 yrs.<p>9. Buying what both me & my son likes to eat at meals, before I wouldnt buy anything that H wouldnt like. I bought strawberries last week the 1st time in 17 yrs. before H would say I dont like them you dont either. <p>10. I'm still not sure how to use the control to the TV but Im still learning. never was allowed to hold it before.<p>11. I can change TV channels without an argument.<p>
12. 2 great loving sons & granddaughter who need me. New daughterinlaw who I like very much. X-daugherinlaw will always be part of my life & will remain a friend.<p>13. Son has learned a good lesson that if you hang around the wrong crowd that you can start acting like them. H starting hanging around with M co-workers who were having A. <p> I have to take full blame for letting my H control me and telling me what I wanted in life. But I have to thank him for making me a better person today. A & D are fading, at peace now, ready to go on without him or wondering what MOW & H are doing. I dont forgive him but I cant go on thinking what are lives would have been like with out MOW. Its now me & my son that I care about and think about daily.

misst,<p>I'm glad you are doing fine. Keep up helping yourself. It will continue to make you a stronger person. I just started this, but reading on how to start feeling better during and after a D. It gives me great hope that I am going to make it.<p>Dino

Other than being free to find someone who is not emotionally stunted and will actually hold a coversation with me and is a helpmate for me? Other than locating my lost self-esteem and self-respect? Other than having a husband whose company I enjoy instead of one whose very presence at home I dreaded? Other than finally proving the x wrong---that I could find someone else who would love me, put up with me and find me attractive (all of which he told me would never happen)? Other than divorcing a man who told me I wasn't fit to say another woman's (a friend of his) name and marrying one who let me call the object of his flirtatious mistake a 'b' and a wh*re yesterday without saying a word back?
Other than finding a man who would go places with me, do things as a family with me and my daughter instead of trying to live his own single life in the family home? Other than living in peace most of the time? <p>That and all the things you mention?<p>Naw, no good other than these things came out of it. There really are people who just shouldn't be together--for the sake of the world at large. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I don't have $20,000 of credit card debt.

In a word, yes.<p>In a sentence, "I'm happy to say that life since I left my ex has been overwhelmingly positive!"<p>I just sent that to someone I haven't talked to since just before I left my ex. Now if only he would move on ...