Well I went to FL for D graduation. First had my friend drop me by xw house to say hello to all that I'm in town before graduation. Younger D answers door, she hugs me and wouldn't let go...Older D not home out shopping. D runs upstairs to get xw, she tells D she was sleep, therefore I left and said to D see you tonight, tell older D hi.<p>Well I get to grad and see D walk across and get diploma, still have not hugged or seen D yet face to face.....End of graduation approaches all grads walk around field, I'm on field 15 feet away from D taking pictures and she's aware and poses....they announce the end, all seniors ran to family in front of them and hug.....D looks at me and turns opposite way never to be seen again.. I walk around field to look for D no avail...My heart was broken after I left grad, never getting to say Hi and hug her, she avoided me on purpose...xw was at grad but I never saw her either....sister there never saw her<p>I get back to motel after grad and call xw house to see if they're celebrating [no]....While on phone I ask xw if she could take me to airport on her way to work next day since its only 8 miles away from her work, she begins to studder and hestitant and said she didn't know she'll have to check her schedule.....I then knew it was a no based on her voice and response...<p>My sister from out of town was at xw house when I called after grad....<p>I was informed today after arriving back in town...OM was at D graduation and also at xw's house after grad [Can you believe that??] I can't believe she would do this on D's graduation night!!!...boy I was glad I went back to motel instead of xw's house that night....<p>Anyway my sister was not impressed with this guy [om] and sister said he was a [Controller] and would not look at her eye to eye and said she was sure that this guy would BEAT my xw severely very soon, she did not feel good about this guy one bit[ the appearance of a thug].....therefore as you see this is why I said my daughters always talked to me in code because OM was always in the house hiding w's dirty work...<p>My sister also told me that a 16 year boy calls for my younger D and he constantly disrespects xw and don't see her as any mother figure, my sister she over heard a conversation going on there with this.<p>Well I was very hurt and disappointed while I was there at this point, with D and xw 2 people to totally reject you with OM appearing on scene is very hard...I thought after 10 months things would have changed but not at all....<p>I was glad my sister saw most of what I've been saying..sister said OM knew his way around house pretty well, appears to not own a car, drives xw...It also appears when I showed up at xw's house OM was upstairs in xw's bedroom, thats why she told D she was sleep and not available...<p>As you see only DV'ed 1 week and all this... I knew OM would boldly step forward....He was already there many, many months ago...My sister mentioned his name and if this is the same guy, he's been around since Nov 2000 when affairs first started.....<p>Well at this point I'm cutting all communication with xw, I tried to reach beyond my perimeter, I'm not going to set myself for continued attack from OM, all I can do is move on. I almost feel like trip was in vain but I feel I needed to go regardless, it was so disappointing leaving D's 2nd time without a formal goodbye.....but I guess the reason why I left anyway from the start due to the multiple affairs, I guess my reason proved itself that night, sister saw OM, that I felt good about.

WoW!<p>That is a sad story... wish I had more to offer at this point, but I can relate too closely to how you must feel.<p>Stay strong.<p>Wallace

Thanks Wallace, I appreciate your thoughts. I also admire your strength also....Stay Strong!!

I'm sorry that your trip didn't go as well as you expected. However, know that although it may seem like your daughter didn't appreciate you being there. When she is older and begins to see through your XW, your daughter will be glad that you were there and were not scared off by OM. <p>You took the high road and acted in the best interest of your daughter. You should be proud. K

I don't know if this will help you or not but 18 years ago I was in the exact same situation except I was the daughter and my Dad was the WS, not my Mom.<p>I had alot of anger at my father due to him basically destroying my mother when I was 17 by betraying her and leaving home for OW.

When he showed up at my HS grad, I sort of blew him off. At the time, I was confused and scared because I lived with my Mom and was afraid to hurt her feelings.<p>However, I still think about that day and how much it hurt my Dad. I'm 35 years old now but I can still see the pain in his face. I have struggled to forgive myself for many years and just in the last 18 months or so, my Dad and I have been able to become close again. Just as the last poster said, she noticed you were there and even if she was too immature and selfish to realize it at the time, she will one day. I look back now and realize how hard it was for my Dad to put himself in that position and come to my Graduation when the wounds were still so raw. He was on enemy territory but he loved me enough to be there. You did the same for your D.<p>I'm assuming in your case, you are the BS so your D may not resent you for the same reasons I resented my Dad. However, I was immature and stupid and looking back I know how much my Dad loved me then and how much I hurt him with my actions that night. <p>I can't speak for your D but I expect she will realize the same is true one day. You were there, even though it was wierd and uncomfortable due to OM being with XW. You did the right thing by being there and maybe not now, but one day she will remember and love you for it.<p>I wish you the best. I'm sorry if I offended you by calling your D selfish. I just know how I acted that night I blew off my Dad. <p>If you feel comfortable, talk to her about it in a few weeks. Don't let it tear you two apart. Daughters NEED their Daddy's. No matter how old, how stubborn or how independent they get. Cherish the time you do have with her and don't let your X's poor parenting example influence you to stay away from your girls.<p>God Bless,<p>PP

GC, thank you sooo much for your words it really means alot...I well cherish it<p>
PP, thank you very much, you always have something encouraging to say that helps me endure. You didn't offend me at all. Your words I will always hang on to....Constant affliction over the same thing is so hard. Once again thank you for your testimony...

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