This has helped me gain a little perspective on my situation. Perhaps it will lend you a bit of encouragement as well.<p>There comes a time when things stop working.<p>"Life's changed," a government official told me not long ago.
"When I took this job fifteen years ago it felt like I'd jumped
into a nice, lazy river. Now it feels like a storm's hit.<p>"The water's cold and it's pounding me to death. My arms ache,
my fingers are numb, and I'm holding on for dear life to an old
rope tied to the dock. My biggest fear's that the rope will break,
or I'll slip and let go. I honestly don't know how much longer I
can hold on."<p>Maybe it's time to let go.<p>And while that may sound crazy, all of us have found ourselves
in a similar situation, suddenly waking up and discovering we're
holding on to what's already over. Knowing we'll continue to
suffer until we finally let go and move on.<p>What are you holding on to? How do you let go?<p>The first step is to realize that you're probably being held
back by a fear of the future that's stronger than any pain in
your present.
Fear, as you'll remember from an earlier newsletter, stands
for False Expectations Appearing Real. That's exactly how our
fearful parts keep us from achieving our potential: they make
disaster movies in our mind, projecting the worst that could
possibly happen if we let go of what we've got. Like a senior
executive I know who scares himself into holding on by picturing
himself becoming homeless and living out of a shopping cart. Or
a woman I know who holds onto a relationship she tells me is
"rotten" because she doesn't want to become the old maid she
sees so clearly in her mind. Question is: what pictures do you
make to keep yourself enslaved to what's over?<p>Step two: understand your options.<p>"I thought I was boxed in," said the former manager of a retail
outlet, "until I had that heart attack and finally began admitting
I did have options, including leaving the job I hated. Now I only
do what I want to do."<p>Third, make a picture of what you want life to be like. Step out
three years into your desired future, look around, and write down
what you see. Describe success, your home, the perfect relationship,
work, etc., and realize you can't get it if you can't see it in
your mind's eye first.<p>Fourth, commit to making the picture happen. And ignore the
little voice in your head that tells you not to burn your bridges.
Playing it safe is a great way to fail. Remember Caesar, who marched
his reluctant troops into battle on an island - and then burned the
bridge back to the mainland. Or Cortez, who helped his soldiers
understand commitment by burning the ships after landing in the
New World. Choose to listen instead to the inner voice that comes
from the part of you that remembers how good you really are - and
has been trying to get you to hear it for years.<p>Finally, pack a picnic lunch and spend a couple of hours in your
local cemetery, pondering your life as you wander through the
gravestones. We're all terminal, you know. It's a matter of
"when", not "if". And if you're not careful, you'll wake up too
late to do the things you've always dreamed of.<p>I still remember a killer line from an old movie -- "Joe Versus
the Volcano"-- which summed things up pretty well. Told he had six
months to live, Joe (Tom Hanks) marched up to his obnoxious boss
and quit his job, saying what's true for most of us: "I was too
chicken to live my life so I sold it to you for $300 a week!"<p>What about your life? Is it finally time to let go of what's
been -- so you can have more of what can be?<p>Let go now.<p>© Pat Lynch, 1999-2002. All rights reserved.<p>Please feel free to forward this on.
