Talk about an emotional evening, went to sons baccalaureate service - he's graduating from high school Friday. Husband couldn't go because he had to work last nite (first bummer) but ex and his girlfriend were there. We sat rows beside one another. Preacher hit on some topics really close to home, how life is all about choices - good and bad choices, and how the choices are all ours to make. Said that parents at this point in their childrens lives need to stand behind them, trust them and always BE THERE for them. (to me, you are not there for them totally being divorced). He went on about drinking being a choice (my ex is an alcoholic - still) and other things on that same line. He talked to the parents about the fact that many of us sitting there are probably suffering consequences of bad choices and the examples we set. Really emotional nite for me. Between the ex being there with another woman while "our" son was graduating, happy and smiling and something that we should be sharing together --- and current husband not making himself available to go (he had to go to work at 9:00 but this service was at 6:00) ... I found myself crying all the way home. Ex and son were taking tons of pictures of themselves and friends - but I sat back and watched all the moms and dads (married ones) so proud of their children - hugging, and though I am so proud of my own, felt so out of place without my husband there while ex and his girlfriend gleamed in the glory. Had myself a long pity party crying all the way home. Was very insensitive to husband when I got there, he was up and ready to go to work and I wanted to spit on him. Just for NOT being there for me. Is that bad? I can't even get over it today.
