Here's a topic I see very little written about, yet it's calling out for attention: the new marriage at mid-life. I'm 54, my new husband is 53, and we've been married for 1 month (engaged since Feb. 1). We have both been married before, and while there are also many strengths that we bring to our marriage, there are a number of pitfalls as well as we adjust. I would sum it up by saying that the strengths we have gained over the years--that is, being in other relationships (both marital and not), raising children, running households, etc.--are being called upon to get us over the bumps of adjustment--that is, dealing with the "baggage" of various kinds, the(dare I say inevitable?) miscommunications and missed cues, the ingrained habits and comfort zones of 10 years of living alone (for both of us), the previously unchallenged assumptions, and most of all, the knowledge that this is IT (in this lifetime, anyway!). So while the pitfalls have gotten bigger and we still fall in, so have the strengths and mature perspectives that will help us climb out and keep love going. Anyone want to join me on this one?? I'll be back!

wow! such encouragement you have given me. I have been in a disastrous marriage for 34 years, with a bman who refuses to connect with me in any way. He pays the bills and thats it. Told me two years ago that he had lost all interest in me when I became a mother(33 years ago) real sick, personality disorder...SCHIZOID....You give me courage to seperate and maybe find someone that I can love and will reciprocate.