Today my divorce is finalized and i'm no longer married..I don't really know how to react, but i know i'm going to be upset in the near future. I guess i'm just feeling really numb right now..The ex and i tried to work it out almost a month ago but to many people were involved in our marriage so it pretty much ruined any chance of us staying married..Now the ex will not even talk to me. The sad thing is we have an 11 month old son together and he hasn't made any attempt to see him or be a part of his life..We had court last wed and he had taken a flight to california from the state he lives in to attend the court hearing regarding the divorce..And not once did he attempt to see our baby..It makes me so mad because he treats the whole situation about our son and being a parent like it's no big deal..Like he will get around to being our son's father when it's convient for him to do so..I emailed him and told him that if he is unable to commit to being an active part of our son's life, it would only be fair to stay out of his life instead of popping in and out when he has the time..I grew up that way and children blame themselves for the one absent parent not being always a part of their lives...What do you think?..Any opinon's or advice..????

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Jc's_Mommy:
<strong>Today my divorce is finalized and i'm no longer married..I don't really know how to react, but i know i'm going to be upset in the near future. I guess i'm just feeling really numb right now..The ex and i tried to work it out almost a month ago but to many people were involved in our marriage so it pretty much ruined any chance of us staying married..Now the ex will not even talk to me. The sad thing is we have an 11 month old son together and he hasn't made any attempt to see him or be a part of his life..We had court last wed and he had taken a flight to california from the state he lives in to attend the court hearing regarding the divorce..And not once did he attempt to see our baby..It makes me so mad because he treats the whole situation about our son and being a parent like it's no big deal..Like he will get around to being our son's father when it's convient for him to do so..I emailed him and told him that if he is unable to commit to being an active part of our son's life, it would only be fair to stay out of his life instead of popping in and out when he has the time..I grew up that way and children blame themselves for the one absent parent not being always a part of their lives...What do you think?..Any opinon's or advice..????</strong><hr></blockquote>

Dear Jc's Mommy,
(Ironic that I posted something about my boyfriend "JC" just minutes ago, maybe that's why I'm compelled to write).
I don't know whether to say "sorry" or not as this might be what you have needed, longed for etc. I think that you are strong enough to enjoy your son and be the best parent that 2 parent's can be to him! Pull on the strengthen that you have from within, from your family and friends. If your ex chooses to not partake in your's son's life- that is his loss as experiencing the joyous of fatherhood, right? If he chooses to do so, then by all means, stick to what you've already told him "either you're in or you're out" and he can't just drop on him whenever he wants to. Believe in yourself and take care of you and your son. Those are the only 2 important things in life! Best wishes.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Jc's_Mommy:
<strong>Today my divorce is finalized and i'm no longer married..I don't really know how to react, but i know i'm going to be upset in the near future. I guess i'm just feeling really numb right now..The ex and i tried to work it out almost a month ago but to many people were involved in our marriage so it pretty much ruined any chance of us staying married..Now the ex will not even talk to me. The sad thing is we have an 11 month old son together and he hasn't made any attempt to see him or be a part of his life..We had court last wed and he had taken a flight to california from the state he lives in to attend the court hearing regarding the divorce..And not once did he attempt to see our baby..It makes me so mad because he treats the whole situation about our son and being a parent like it's no big deal..Like he will get around to being our son's father when it's convient for him to do so..I emailed him and told him that if he is unable to commit to being an active part of our son's life, it would only be fair to stay out of his life instead of popping in and out when he has the time..I grew up that way and children blame themselves for the one absent parent not being always a part of their lives...What do you think?..Any opinon's or advice..????</strong><hr></blockquote>