For over ten years I have developed a "radar" that makes me go crazy whenever I hear people chewing or eating with their mouth open. To the point that I can't stand to see my husband talk to me with his mouth full, even though he tries hard no to make a single noise. I can't stand either to hear him floss his teeth or clip his nails. These are things that can make me hate a person while I hear the noises. At any other time, I love them just the same. But this is a real problem when you avoid sitting at the table with your husband. Does anybody know what's the cause of this psychological reaction?? How can I get rid of it?

I don't have an answer for you but if you have an answer let me know. My H also gets so upset about noises, especially when my kids eat with thier mouths open, it gets to the point where we can't even have an enjoyable dinner, maybe you should try putting in ear plugs.<BR>Good luck!

Dear Fed Up, <P>I'm an expert on ear plugs!!! I never go to my father's house without them! <P>It is really horrible to experience this, because I know it is ridiculous, extreme and unfair to the rest of the people, but I really can't stand it. Ireally hope I can get some advice from somebody.

<p>[This message has been edited by TXSupermommy (edited May 11, 2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TXSupermommy:<BR><B>You may just be extra sensitive to certain sounds. My son has autism (a neurological disorder) and has many extreme sensitivities especially to sound and touch. My H & I are learning that there are many people with sensitivities to light, touch, sound, our environments, including ourselves. Not that everyone has the same extreme reaction that my son has, but they can still be very real. The best I can say is try to lessen (or in my case with my son, avoid it) the thing that triggers your response. You may have to come up with some creative ideas to make yourself more comfortable. The ear plugs may not be a bad idea.It is really no different than an allergy. Hope this helps!! </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Thanx so much, TXSUPERMOMMY! This is something I had never heard of...do you think you could tell me more about it? Did you find this information in any books I could read? Does this condition have a proper name? I would really like to read about it. In any case, you have helped a lot!! Thanks again.

My husband is alot the same way. You don't put your fingers any where close to your mouth.you don't clap your hands becuz you got excited about something. you chew with your mouth shut. You don't talk on the phone where he can see you while you are eating.I say it is not that big of a deal to argue over so I don't do them.What does get agervating is when he does something and I let him know it he says if you don't like it leave the room.Why can't married people over look the little stuff that is not that big of a deal.

No kidding!! I agree that we all let the little things get on our nerves. The things my dad does at the table! Maybe it is that we know we are going to have to put up with this "stuff" for years to come. <P>But you know, and I told my wife this on Valentine's Day, it is all those little annoying things she did and which used to bug me that I REALLY miss since she moved out. It is a terrible cliche but you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. (Not mine originally.)<P>In hind sight, (always the clearest) I wish I had the last couple years back to do all over again, differently.<BR>

I really can't imagine missing something that bothers me now so terribly. I'm afraid that it corresponds to some sort of unconscious mechanism that we use to vent our frustrations or an excuse to get upset. How do you fellow Marriage Builders' fans feel about this??<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by josunechu:<BR><B>I really can't imagine missing something that bothers me now so terribly. I'm afraid that it corresponds to some sort of unconscious mechanism that we use to vent our frustrations or an excuse to get upset. How do you fellow Marriage Builders' fans feel about this??</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I would suggest you're correct. I wonder what annoying things you do that drive your husband crazy that he just isn't telling you about? hummmmmmmmm. Maybe taking your own inventory would help you see what he's lovingly ignoring because he finds so many other wonderful things about you that the "annoying habits" just aren't that important.<P>I would suggest the next time you hear someone chewing with their mouth open, you think immediately of the wonderful things you love about that person, the things you would miss terribly if that person was gone, if they were to pass away, or if they were to leave you at some point. <P>I think of the old addage: You can't have the good without the bad. You can't have darkness without light. <P>If he changed chewing with his mouth open, would that mean he wouldn't be comfortable at his own table anymore? Would his spontaneous banter or comfortable, easly conversation diminish or completely stop?<P>Would he be more self-conscious all the time, causing him not to enjoy his meals with you as much? Maybe he would start getting indigestion and have to take antacids all the time. Maybe he would stop eating with you altogether and eat earlier or later so he wouldn't bother you with his eating habits.<P>I suggest, the next time he's chewing with his mouth open and he's almost finished with one bite, you put a bit of food from your plate onto a fork or spoon, and you feed it to him, smiling lovingly, and look into his eyes. I'd bet dimes to donuts his mouth will either close and stare right back at you or you'll both start laughing. Either way, you won't be annoyed as much after that.<P>Have a great day....<P>Katherine