It's been a while since I have posted, I have been mostly over at the EN board, but now that I belong here, I wanted to get some feedback from those of you that are where I am or farther ahead. <p>I am doing well over the fact that my stbxh no longer wants our marriage, and I am in some ways now relieved. It's a weight I don't have to carry anymore. My newest and continuing problem is surrounding my 5 year old son. He is increasingly troubled with the huge amount of time he is with his dad. My stbxh works at my son's preschool as a teacher's aide, but the courts don't count that time as time with S. I see my son every other day for 3 hours, on the 1 weekend day I have him, I have him from 9 am to 9 am the next day. For those of you that have followed my story, you know I am a dedicated and loving mother. The night before our hearing with the judge, my stbxh had devised a plan that was on the low end of fair to me for what he would agree to for visitation. It was basically a 2 nights with me, 1 night with his dad, but each of us got 1 weekend day. I had agreed to that and said we would have to see how S handles it. The next day when we went to court, his attorney stated that, "This will not work for my client." So we couldn't agree on visitation, so the courts ordered that we seek counseling to determine what is in the best interest of our S. Well, I got a list of court appointed child custody evaluators from the court, called 6 of them and got their resumes and did phone interviews with them. I submitted a spreadsheet to my stbxh's attorney and to him directly. He chose one off of the list after doing phone interviews with her as well. So we go for our first session. Before I had begun the session, I stated that I was concerned that my stbxh would change his mind after we were well on our way into the evaluation. He said that after a couple of sessions, he would commit. So, we did 2 sessions, scheduled for the next one as he agreed to continue with her. We did another 3 sessions ending last Friday. After that last session, my stbxh AGAIN agreed to the schedule HE suggested in the first place. He called me late that night and asked my if he could be the one to tell our S that he now gets more time with him mom. I said that was fine. I don't care WHO gets to be the "HERO", as long as my son is getting what he needs. So the next morning, my stbxh shows up to pick up s and tells me that he can't live with that schedule. He agrees that he wants to GIVE me more time, but it is too radical a change for him. IT'S ONE MORE DAY A WEEK!! He agreed to it 2X, and it was HIS schedule. Then he proceeds to tell me that he's not going to continue with the evaluator that we have already spent 5 hours of an approximate 10 hour eval with. The evaluator called him on Saturday and he's now reconsidering and was supposed to call the evaluator on Sunday to let her know if he was going to continue with her. Well, of course, he didn't call. So Monday, he called and said that he needed to talk to some people and they wouldn't be available until today (Tuesday). So now I am in limbo and have to wait for him to get his head out of his A**. <p>I know God will keep me strong and will continue to work in my life for good. It's just so hard to see my son suffer. He hides from his dad when he comes to get him, asks me to camouflage him so his dad won't see him, to put a hat on him so his dad doesn't recognize him, locks me out of the house when his dad gets there to pick him up, etc. His dad is good to him, but he's a small child and needs his mother TOO!! My stbxh spends EVERYDAY during the week with him. Gets to put him down for naps, spends circle time with him, does projects with him, goes on field trips, library, play yard, etc. He NEVER wants to go to his dad's and NEVER rejects the opportunity to stay with me. He says he misses home and doesn't want to go anywhere once he's home. I am so frustrated by this whole mess.
