Hi, my h and i are splitting after 4 month of marriage. We lived together first and things were fine and we decided to just go for it, well things started to change. I became cold and would say mean things and he became insercure. He always wanted to know where I was, what I was doing and who I was talking to. I would get angry with him and stopped having sex with him, i would tell him that I hate him and that I dont love him anymore. I know that all that hurt him. But all we did was fight over things. I have a little girl who is turning 4 in july and he never has had children. He would yell at her and it was getting to the point where she didnt want him to touch her. She wanted just me. Well this mad him even more upset and I tried to explain to him that he needs patients. I did try to talk things out, but he would run to people at work (we worked together, that is how we meet), run to his friends and even tell my family everything. He would tell them that I no loger wanted sex and that I was being cruel to him. In one way yes, I would say mean things in other ways no, I tried to rationalize with him. Nothing seemed to work. My daughter was going through a period of where she wouldnt poop. I took her to the doctors and the doctor would give me things to try to help her, well he would go to work and tell them that I didnt act concered. I got very upset about this and stopped talking to him. In march I said that I wanted a divorce. We have now been split up for a month and we are still communicating with each other. He wants me to come back and I said that so much has gone wrong that I dont think we could. Im worried about my daughter and how things might get. He said that he was jealous of the affection that I show her and not him. Well its hard to show someone affection when your mad at them. I dont want to fix something that might stay broken. I am scared that he wont change. I know I can change because some of the anger has left but I think he will stay the way he is. There is more to this story and I dont know how much you want to hear but to some most of it up he has lied, talked about me behind my back, and he keeps crying everytime I talk to him. He has always been sensitive but I cant handle it. Before I married him I knew that, I also new that he needed someone to guide him. He is simple minded and cant handle his own finances. His brother has taken care of him for most of his life. His parents took off because they are retired and his brother felt obligated to take care of him.

Why don't you feel like the relationship is worth working at? You have seemed to pull away from him at every corner. Lies and argument are part of every conflict that can't be solved. Why are the things you want more important than the things he wants? It sounds like you both had problems communicating and meeting each others needs. Maybe your just tired. Being tired is not a crime, it takes alot of work to raise a daughter and a family. You can't look at it like he is another kid that you have to take care of. You need to relize that a marriage has needs of its own, that both people have to work at. You have been very "cruel" to him as you put it. You know it. Why doesn't it matter to you anymore? <P>Why don't you think he will change? It sound's like you have been hurt and have been blaming him for some of the things you can't deal with. Maybe you think he wont change because he hasn't given you a sign that he wants to change... maybe he hasn't seen anything from you that makes him want to change or gives him any hope that changing would make a difference.<P>Love, marriage, life, children, work, everything takes work. The more you put in the more you get out.<P>I am really sorry to hear your story because my wife feels the same way as you. She doesn't think I will change. She tells me she doesn't want to try. She knows how much I care and how much I want to try. But she thinks there is just to much history to ever get over. I don't know what to say except that if you want him you can't give up.