I thought I was getting married 30+ years ago but what I was getting was entrapped. none of my or my childrens needs(other than financial) have been considered. been moved 19 times, no conversation, no time allotments, sex once every few months to as long as a year. I took my vows seriously, but obviously he had no idea of the interaction marriage requires. now my children are grown(almost finished with college) Should I get out? He won't listen to Dr. Harley or anyone else, says I shouldn't expect anything---then I wouldn't be disappointed! I am dieing here. Help!

Do you still love him? Do you see anything in him that you like? Have you told him how serious your feelings are? Have you tried talking to him without talking about what he is doing?<P>Its hard to seperate your feelings from what he is doing or saying or not doing or not saying. Work on the positives, try working on things that you can change about yourself. Maybe become more independent and not need the things that you expect him to give you. Have you read the article about needs and expectations?<P>I think that your husband probably has some unaddressed issues that you can't see because your caught up with your needs not being met. Why doesn't he want you to expect anything? Why doesn't he want to do more? What could you do to make him want to do more? Maybe he was needing things that you didn't know about... sometimes when the only times we tell how we feel is in a fight and then it gets brushed asside because we're not listening then were telling.<P>If you want to live with this man then you need stand up for yourself and say your NOT trapped he is NOT in control _BUT_ that you want to be with him and you are part of the relationship and you have just as much control.