I am the betrayer here and have been trying to do everything to help H get through my betrayal. I cook, clean, give him as much as I can and keep his love bank full. I adore him! Here's my problem:<P>I can't keep the checkbook balanced! Every month we pay as much as 100 dollars in fees alone, not to mention I feel like I give him a bad name around town. I want to save money and pay off bills so we can fulfill our dream of buying a house and "live happily ever after", but with my inability to manage our finances, I'm the stumbling block to his financial success!<P>I know this is very important to men, and it hurts his ego to be 34 and have no savings or retirement. This isn't totally my fault, but I feel like I'm partially responsible, and I want him to feel like a king. <P>Please any resources or ideas ANYTHING would help me tremendously.<P>I love him so much!! I want him to be the happiest husband EVER!<P>Thanks<P>Tracy

Sad4Now -<P>If you would like - I could help you!!<P>I'm pretty good with money and am helping others with their budgets.<P>If interested EMail me At Sheba101@webtv.net<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Hi Tracy, <P>Balancing a checkbook should not be heaped on your shoulders if you don't have the knack to do it. In my household, I manage all finances because I'm very good at it. My W is not interested at all and simply wants to know how we stand from month to month. Whether the H or W does it, it doesn't really matter. If neither of you are good at managing finances, then you both need to be involved.<P>If he feels he getting older and has no retirement and no savings, don't you take the blame. You're in a marriage and you both need to get your finances in order. <P>Larry Burket has some excellent resources for managing money. Here's the website:<BR>http://www.cfcministry.org/<P>I don't know if he can be the happiest husband ever, I'm trying to get that job!!!<P>Keep up what you're doing - you'll make it!<P>SHA

Sad4Now-<BR>My H has some problems money management also. Didn't realize how BIG the problem was until I stopped working and we had less "disposable" income to cover his negligience. (and HIS was negligience). My H simply doesn't like to "bother" w/that stuff. Feels like if the ATM says X amount is available, then that's what is available...doesn't quite understand the concept of outstanding checks and debit charges! <P>Anyway, do you work with a budget? I mean really stick with it. This requires discipline. Look at your budget. Are your expenses more than your income? Increase your income or cut back on expenses...entertainment, dining out, extravagances. If your expenses are in line w/your income, then I suppose your spending is out of line. Cut back the use of your account (including debit cards). Take out cash and use only that cash for your household/personal expenses. When cash is gone, stop spending. This will eliminate the chances of bounced checks. <P>Another alternative is to have your H manage finances. Is that an option?<P>I have come to realize that my H is money management-challenged! Its best that I manage finances and its a major lovebuster to me when he is irresponsible. Happy to see that you are concerned with this in your marriage. Good Luck!