Hi CJ, I really applaude you for your turn around being the OM at one point. I have some questions for you. You being a once OM/WS and have repented and remorseful could answer this for me.. <p>1.What did you think about the Husbands of WW's? Knowing these woman were saying to their H, I love you not in love with you thing...Did you think these WS/W were lying and decieved by you and there own selfish mind.<p>2. Did you see these WS/W confess any guilt during that time spending with you.<p>3. What could a H, done to drive his WS/W away from you being OM? Do you feel the info on this site would have messed up your affair with a WS/W?<p>4. You having had multiple affairs, what did you prey on that you knew a WS/W was drifting from her marriage..<p>5. Did anything your wife say to you ring over and over during that time that drove you crazy while in affairs?<p>6. What did you about WW's H's? Did WS/W seduce you into thinking they were unhappy or whats your thoughts?<p>7. Did WS/W ever talk to you about going back to H's?<p>I know these are tough questions but I feel you can help many people here to see how the OM is thinking that has our WS/W hostage.....<p>Thornrose and PeoplePleaser has given great info of how the WS/W thinks...now I'd like to see how the OM is thinking who has turned.<p>I'm sure you have some powerful tools since you been a broken man from you mistake, sorry if this might seem painful but I'm curious...Thanks

Ever....sorry it took so long to respond. <p> I appreciate the applause but it's not me who should be applauded it is God and my wife that should get credit. These are the to most important people in my life. <p> I have been really praying over this answer but I don't think I will be much help. <p> I feel different than most WS on here because my A's were for sex only. I had no emotional ties to any of them except for the fact that somehow I felt wanted with their compliments. I think this is a low self esteem issue. <p> 2 out of the 3 PA's I didn't even know the person. I was seduced and lied to in all PA's but at the same time I was the seducer and the lier. The people on the computer I didn't know and didn't want to know. It was all about fantasy and sex. <p> What did I think about husbands?
I don't guess I did till I felt the guilt then I wanted to go to them and apologize but I was to afraid.<p> You asked one question that I think I can answer but it is the most obvious. Do you feel the info on this site would have messed up your affair with WS/W? Definitly yes !!!! I say that for 2 reasons.<p> 1. I would have seen how totally destructive my actions were to my wife and our relationship. I think a WS knows he hurts his spouse but until you come out of the fog and come to a place like MB they are blind to the true hurt. MB makes you examine a lot of things about your inner self and what you can do to make your relationship better.<p> 2. I seriously think if I would have found MB a few years ago I would have seen my sexual addiction and I would have preserved a lot of the trust that I have lost and am trying to get back. <p> I made so many wrong choices and mistakes. I can't undo the past but I can make my wife and kids life soooo much better with the future.<p> I feel as though I cheated you out of what you were looking for. I hope this helps somebody.<p> Please keep praying for my marriage because I do love my wife with all my heart and soul. I told her the other day in a note that I still get the biggest smile and butterflies in my stomach when she walks in the room.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p> Love in christ<p> cajunky<p>[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: cajunky ]</p>

Hey CJ, have a question....I mention in one of my post to someone I have a friend who was tormented daily with guilt and images of his W everywhere he turned even while he was married to OW so bad the guilt over came in mental anguish he took valumes that stopped working and died of and overdose due to the guilt and torment and when he died he saw his self descending into hell in a cold still darkness cried out to the Lord and was spared his life, came back to life, was carried to church on a stretcher he was sick,just skin and bones, barely alive and repented, Dv'ed OW and living for God in full force, preaching the Gospel....<p>You being OM at one point you mentioned you saw images of your wife everywhere you turned also. Did you find this happening with the WS/wifes that you came in contact with?? Did they appear in any torment as you were??

ever...I haven't forgot about you. I'm just not in a good place right now.<p> love in christ<p> cajunky