My g/f has a hearing today regarding her child support which her x quit paying back in Oct. He says his business is bad and isn't taking a paycheck.<p>She contacted Child Support back then and they eventually had his drivers license revoked. He eventually paid $800 and had his license reinstated.<p>He threatened to have a financial review as she is now making more money, although she has never been asked to supply any new info.<p>He also told her late last week that he was going out of the country, and would get the court date changed. He hasn't. This is the same 3 trip he has been going to take when she had business trips planned and needed him to watch his kids.<p>So she could use your prayers.<p>Thanks!

G/F called and said it came down to him going to jail or her accepting partial payments. So, thinking it wouldn't be good for her kids to see their father in jail, she accepted $200/month instead of the $600/mo he owes. He will still owe the back monies.<p>His lawyer also admonished him about flaunting his sailing successes, he won a boat race in R.I. and had his picture and story all over the local papers. HE quickly pointed out he had a sponser for that race.<p>He then annouced he was going to Mexico next weekend, the weekend he is to have the kids. <p>My g/f was satisfied as she wasn't expecting much but will be getting more c/s than she was.

What state do you live in? In NJ child support is nothing to mess with. The county probation sets up an account if the paying parent doesn't pay, they get their wages garnished. My ex tried to throw his weight around after the divorce and play around with the child support. They screwed up his credit, which he holds near and dear. When that happened, he agreed to pay back what he owed and they now garnish his wages. <p>I have no doubt that in other states they have similar arrangements.<p>[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: HappyMac ]</p>

We live in OH. He did have his dr lic revoked for a couple months till he came up with $800. He got his license back and she hasn't received any more payments.<p>I have a friend whose x does the same thing. He doesn't pay, and then when he gets in trouble, he pays a token amount and is allowed to continue.<p>I forget what he claims to work as, sometype of subcontractor that gets paid in cash, so there is no regular wages or payroll where it can be automatically withdrawn.<p>In OH, the cs is automaically withheld from the paycheck and sent to the person receiving it thru the state, although it is setup by the counties.

Bob,<p>Kinda sorry that her exH doesn't take care of his responsibilities toward his kids, isn't it? Sounds like she will keep having to hound him for the money his kids need. Too bad. Things are difficult enough after a divorcer. I can not understand the need to add to the hurt and heartache. <p>...sigh....<p>Desiree

I wish I could remember the name of the agency, there is one that will recover CS. And of course there is a fee. Also if she went through the county and is deliquent, I think if he is expecting any tax refunds, I think it is sent to the county, who will then forward it on to her. Worth looking into.

Desiree,
I really can't understand how you can just ignore your kids. He only sees them about 6 days a month. I miss my kids when they are gone for 2-3 days. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have the kids with me.<p>What really bugged her, and me, was about a month ago, he and his wife were standing behind us at their son's soccer game and he was talking about his two boats and how one needed fixed. I think then he realized we were sitting in from of him because he then said repairs were so expensive and he didn't know when he could have them done.<p>I about turned around and said, why don't you take care of your kids first.<p>Thanks Sue, I'll have her check that. I have a feeling that the counties here don't do that as she was represented by a child support service lawyer.

I bet if he knew he was going to jail, the money would magically appear... [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>ANNA

Hi RWD,<p>
Take it from me. Sailing is a very expensive sport. Right now the only way I get to race is if I crew on someone else's boat. Racing even worse. Let say he gets his crew for free...he still has to pay the fees to enter, the cost of the upkeep of the boat and all the equipment. <p>Sorry to say it...but he has the money. If he has two boats than he has more than enough money to take care of his children. What a scum bag for not wanting to provide for them! The slips alone in RI must be a small fortune. I know here in NH it is not cheap...and even worse in Boston and the Cape. <p>I will pray that his heart is shown the way for his kids. That is so sad. My guess is that the 600USD is the payment on his slips for the boats. Again I am only guessing becuase I have no idea where he stores them in RI.

I agree CS should be paid, but in my case its hard, not for the sake of my kids which I dearly love but, when WS/W has Boyfriend that lives in house, she struggles to keep utilities on making $5x,000 a year plus my $800.00 CS is hard...<p>Its hard to know OM is sucking your money from the home and kids,its handled by the state, this guy doesn't even own a car, drives xw car that has my name on the loan still...<p>Its hard when you been betrayed and used all at once and the State makes it all legal for OM to rob your family, motivation to pay is hard sometimes knowing your labor at work is buying OM clothes and food, then he says to go handle your business, it's humiliating...I had always provided for my kids and still do, haven't missed a payment....<p>So yes there are self-centered men out there who refuse to pay and there are those who are paying but are being used in the process.

Pahakissa<p>what kind of boats do you crew on?<p>dinghies by any chance?<p>wiftty

Anna,
He is very hard headed and cheap! So he probably would go to jail and blame her. She decided she didn't want to be involved with trying to explain to the kids why their father was in jail, especially when she knows he and his family would blame her.<p>Pahakissa,
One of his boats is a pleasure craft of some kind. They other is a sailboat. Don't ask me what kind, I'm a landlubber! He mainly sails in the Great Lakes, but won some race here and got to sail in Newport. Not sure if he took his boat or sailed someone elses. His time with the kids is taking them to the marina so he can work on his boat(s).

EC-<p>Don't feel bad, you are doing the right thing even if she isn't. I know it must be hard for you, so many guys get the deadbeat dad rap that it makes all of the cs paying dads look bad. If only you could wear a button "I pay my CS".<p>The kids SS income and CS are the only monies coming into the house, so that $ is used to pay for my living expenses too. I felt kind of weird about that at first, but since having a full time mom was something that [censored] and I always insisted on as a priority I got over it.<p>My folks help out alot too.<p>I digress....<p>E

Thanks, E.... [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Yep, RWD,<p>If you move closer, and if your ex takes advantage, then some day your daughter could decide to live with you...many advantages there; daughter in a stable home, no more child support paid by you, child support paid by your ex...child support would be better spent because you are not the partier...<p>Long term that could be better for you and your daughter...<p>Take care and good luck with your decision,<p>ANNA<p>P.S.<p>Couldn't help but notice your number.... Boy are you an oldtimer... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] hehe.

The one thing I want to say is I don't think it matters to the court how much money SHE makes...he's still legally responsible to pay a certain percentage for cs...if I understand correctly, there is a federally mandated formula set in place. (that's what the Texas Attorney General's office told me).<p>It's all nice that she wants to let him seem to be better than he is but does that feed the cow any cabbage? Of course, as an 'outsider' you can't really say much about it without big time lb'ing. It stinks---maybe she will wake up and let him rot in the pokey until he owns up to his fatherly responsibilities.

Anna,
I think you got me confused with someone else. My kids live with me and my x pays me child support.<p>My x lives about 2 miles away and we don't have a set visitaion schedule because she works shift. To complicate things she works 12 shifts. About 2 months ago she quit working weekends so she has been taking the kids every weekend but not during the week. <p>I am even older than I look as I posted briefly under another name ! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Frankly,
In OH, they go by gross income and percentage that each couple contributes to the gross income.<p>Across the top, they had gross income, and down the side they had number of kids. They read across to determine how much it cost to raise that many kids at that income, and then divided that by one-third and that is what my x pays me.<p>I may have over simplified this as it was 3 yrs ago for me.<p>My g/f was also working part time when she was divorced and then started working full time.

Wow! In TX, it doesn't matter how much either parent makes...for one kid the ncp pays 20%, two is 25% and 3 is 30%--straight out. Makes it easy, if you ask me.

Sorry RWD not to do this on your thread...but WhenIfindthetime I am not sure why you have to be so nasty. I was not talking to you. I sail every year in Nantucket. And to join the boston club you have to pay at least a 1,000USD. And that is to get on someone elses boat. Sailing implies a sail boat. Friends, that have boats pay around 600USD to dock their boats in Portsmouth, NH. That does not include maintenance, storage fees and the like. It is a very expenisve sport. The boat I plan to purchase cost 150,000USD used. That is more than my house. You live in the boston area...do not believe me check it out.<p>Please in the future just keep you nastyness to your self! And by no means never feel the need to make a reply to me.