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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3 |
first i would like to say that all of the stuff i have been reading really has made me feel better. my w and i have been seperated for just about a year now and it's been tuff on me i'm sure it's been hard on her. let me start by saying we were having trouble for a while then i began to look for stimulation other places to the piont where it became an obsesion for me even to the piont where i couldn't even control it. well to make a long story short she caught me (with the use of 2 PI'S) .I was sick i did it but i NEVER comitted adultry or even fornication. never the lees she moved out and so did i we no live at our parents house's our house is empty i care for it and pay all the bills (she stoped working shortly after she caught me) wich i was happy to do but after year of begging for her forgiveness and trying to show her i've changed the other night at the MC's she told me she just couldn't do it and she wanted a D now here is what i was wondering while she was makeing up her mind i had told her if she wants to go this route i would never speak to her or want anything to do with her again she didn't belive me and when she told me she wanted a D she went to hold my hand and i pulled away then when she called me the next day i told her i just couldn't talk to her. AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING? this is killing me inside i still love her deeply and can't picture my life with out her . it's been a year how can i change this. also she lives with her mother who she listens to very intently is there any way of fixing this ? i feel terrible about what i did and have stoped it but she says she loves me she's just not in love with me. god i hate that saying. is ther any hope here.PS. we were married for 5yrs together for 7 no kids.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
reliant68:<p>"let me start by saying we were having trouble for a while then i began to look for stimulation other places to the piont where it became an obsesion for me even to the piont where i couldn't even control it. well to make a long story short she caught me (with the use of 2 PI'S) .I was sick i did it but i NEVER comitted adultry or even fornication."<p>Huh? What is it you did, then? Was it an EA? If so, that's still adultery.<p>As far as what you should do now. It sounds like you've been in sort of a separated "plan A" of sorts the past year. Maybe you feel like you're not getting anywhere. Maybe you really aren't. But is sounds like her asking for a D is sort of a way of getting SOMETHING to happen between you. My W actually asked me if we were to DV, would I still want to do things with her? At the time, I said yes, but then I realized that it would be impossible. Your W really needs to know that DV means it's OVER. If she wants you, she should work WITH you and counselors, to make your M better than it ever was before.<p>Good luck to you.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3 |
i guess it was an ea although i never had physical contact just masterbation I'm not sure if what we are in now is a sepreated plan a because i was pushing her to make a dission it's now sunday and since my last post i have seen here she came to the house to see the yard work and i wasn't cold but nowhere near being freindly when she asked me who i told I said i've allready told everyone she just said oh and got funny . what ever that means then she calls me later to tell me about the gardeners and was all cheery on the phone i dam near hung up on her. 2long question for you. how is your situation now are you still working on it? what did you do ? let me know or anyone in fact if they have a simalar problem. thanks
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