I want to thank Thorned Rose and ex-Princess Buttercup for their responses on my last post. I did let go of everything I couldn't control and even though I kind of freaked out in the attorney's office when she said we needed to settle... I finally said, whatever... have to trust the Big Guy to do what is right. <p>Well... we made a settlement offer, basically I had to pay my ex off to get rid of the SOB. His attorney countered and back and forth. Walked into the courthouse on Thursday morning and my attorney had a counteroffer that she felt was reasonable. We checked it out well (after all, STBX's attorney has left out things in orders whenever he feels like it). Basically, it comes to this:<p>I keep sole custody of the kids YEAH!
I get the house YEAH!
I get him to sign over his shares of business, so am now sole owner of corporation YEAH!<p>We are going to trial over one thing... I asked that we keep the stay-away order for an additional year. STBX's attorney said he needed a week to work out how he was going to "slaughter" me on the stand. I'm OK with it... I was in the right, he was in the wrong.<p>Not to mention that stbx and his attorney are not aware of the child abuse case being reopened and that the DA and Victim Services are finally involved, as is a counselor who finally has a bit of a spine. <p>One last thing that may be a problem is that the attorney's fees are being set by the judge on Declaration by each attorney. My attorney feels that he will automatically say each of us is responsible for our own, but there is the wild card that the judge is very irritated at how stbx's attorney has handled several matters and we also have proof of perjury. So, still some wild cards out there, but I'm Ok with that at the moment, too. I've spent about $40,000 protecting myself and the girls from their attacks, he has spent $80 to 90,000 being an [censored].<p>I look back and realize I got what I wanted when he decided he didn't want to be married anymore; he has gotten considerably less because he has no contact with his kids and has been such a jerk that I'm not sure either of them will ever want to have anything to do with him again.<p>It's been a long (nearly) 2 years. I did get some immediate stress relief, now just sort of tired. I'm thinking of ways to grow the business, am working on getting my kids straightened out from their past life with ex. I'm tired of being in limbo, of wondering what was the next thing I was going to be hit with. It feels good to be done, to know the last thing is something that the judge wanted in Novemeber 2001 and stbx's attorney didn't put it in the orders so stbx kept violating the court's wishes. <p>I'm giving my house a thorough cleaning (even the dogs got baths), so off to finish some work there. Thanks to you all for your support and thoughts. Divorce is an awful pit to try and climb out of, even when it is the right thing to happen. Weird that the ones who say they are through and want out are the ones who finaly put up the biggest fight. Control issues all the way!<p>Lori [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

It DOES feel good to be done (well, almost) ...<p>There is the final matter for me and Humperdinck of him paying me the $36K he owes me that he had 120 days from 9/12/01 to pay, and then had 7 days from 5/17 to pay, and still hasn't ... but he wants my name off the property so he needs to get his act together. It isn't hurting me any, I don't need the money to survive; it will be the downpayment on a house when I move (approx. Jan 2004).<p>He's still being a dink for whatever reason about this summer's parenting time schedule, stalling for some reason (claimed my calendar print-out had microscopic text and it gave him a headache to try and read it, could I print him a new bigger one) so school is out in one week and we don't have the summer finalized ... just little things now though.<p>I never have to come home to him, or be waiting at home for him, with my stomach completely knotted up, fearing the worst.<p>It sounds like things are going very well for you, Lori. Email me sometime if you like. ButtercupMine -at- hotmail -dot- com<p>
UPDATE - I have an appointment Friday at my attorney's office to meet 'Dinck and his attorney to sign the quit claim deed and receive my check! Yay!<p>Also, someone told me when he claimed he couldn't read that calendar, that I should have said that too much j**king off makes you go blind ... still LOL at that!<p>[ June 05, 2002: Message edited by: ex-Princess Buttercup ]</p>