I am in a state of limbo right now, that I can't seem to get out of. My life is falling apart. Everything that I used to value, either doesn't matter to me anymore, or does nothing but get me even more upset.<p>I just spent the last couple of hours driving. I had no idea where I was going, or what I was going to do when I got there. I just knew that I couldn't stay in my apartment. I am not really even sure why I am back here now.<p>I want to cry, I want to fall apart, I want to give up on everything. The one person in this world who could help to ease this pain....won't.<p>I'm not going to call anyone. I am not going to commit myself. It has taken an awful lot for me to even come here and post this thread. I guess I just need someone to care about how I feel, and what I want, what I need.

Okay, I'm gonna talk to you like I know exactly who you are -- you understand, right?<p>First of all - I care. And I'm sending you the biggest, most platonic bear-hugs I can send through cyberworld. <p>Now... your world... it has changed. Yes, it has. No doubt about it. You are no longer a husband... and I *know* how much that hurts for you. You really DID TRY, you know that, right? Your ex decided that she didn't want to try, and gave you some mixed signals on top of all that... how confusing... how tortuous!! <p>But... you can BEGIN to heal. Just like you had to heal from her infidelity, you will now have to heal from this. You really CAN do it. <p>Please, please PLEASE take care of yourself, will you? <p>You are not measured by how SHE acted, nor by the fact that you are divorced, nor by anything except this: You are a good man. <p>You are hurting... accept that... embrace it... and work through it.<p>You will survive!

Life sucks,<p>change your name! Change it to smething positive something good.<p>Your right life does suck at times. I can totally relate. Right now, go help someone else, be of srervice, get out of yourself. It works everytime.<p>Keep comming back & posting here. Pray, ask God to help you through. You can do it, you can get through this.<p>I was just feeling sorry for myself as a posted on my thread & now I came to yours, I am rejuvenated again. Why? cuz I'm out of myself trying to help you.<p>God Bless,<p>D.<p> [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Sheryl,<p>Thank You. I wish you were right, but thank you anyway. The way I am feeling really doesn't have anything to do with my XW. At least not directly. <p>Yes, there are still times when I get frustrated over what went on with my marriage, but I discovered a while ago that I had fallen out of love with my XW long before the divorce ever happened.<p>I am afraid that my current state of mental confusion is related to someone else. Someone, who just this afternoon told me that they loved me.<p>
WillGetThruThis,<p>Believe it or not, I wish that I could change my name. I used to post here under a different name....in a different lifetime, and I was frequently told then that I should change my name. I didn't until I came back to these boards in this incarnation.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Pray, ask God to help you through.<hr></blockquote>surprisingly, this is a big part of my current funk. I am having a very very difficult time reconciling myself with a God that is supposed to Love us and forgive us......yet I am in a position where it is painfully obvious (to me anyway) that were that really the case, I would not be where I am now.<p>In my previous life, I had developed what I felt was a very strong re-commitment to the Lord. That very re-commitment was a part of why I am where I am at right now.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Life Sucks:
<strong>I am afraid that my current state of mental confusion is related to someone else. Someone, who just this afternoon told me that they loved me.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Well, of course this begs the question:<p>WHY?<p>So, who is this person, and what is going on?<p>And why is loving you a bad thing, aside from the fact that it's a bit soon - but hey, who am I to talk, you know how soon I got married after David.<p>Talk, my friend. You're safe.

LS,
It sounds like you are under attack from the enemy, Satan. He comes to kill, steal and destroy.
The reason he is so upset is because of your renewed commitment to God. The Bible tells us if we resist the devil, he will flee from us. Well, I've had my share of attacks and mostly when I am really trying to be in harmony with God. You are obviously a threat to him in some way or are going to be or he wouldn't be attacking you like this. Keep your eyes on Jesus and I, along with a lot of other praying warriors will be praying for you. Keep the faith and don't let satan rob you of that. God promises to keep us in perfect peace, when our minds are stayed on Him. Confusion and termoil are the devil's campground, not God's. <p>I agree, you need to change your name to something powerful rather than sounding defeated. <p>As a man thinketh, so he is. Words have more power than we realize.<p>God bless you and keep you and give you strength.

Sheryl,<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>why is loving you a bad thing<hr></blockquote>It's not I guess, but she is unwilling/unable to commit to me.<p>I think that I have things that I could offer her, that she has never experienced before (and this is by her own admission), but she won't give me the chance to even try. Why would she tell me that she loves me, and wants to be with me, but not make any attempts at being with me.<p>Confusing? Yea I know. It's confusing as hell to me too.<p>
Free Indeed,<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Confusion and termoil are the devil's campground, not God's.<hr></blockquote>Then I have been under attack for a lot longer than I realized. I don't think I have the strength or the will anymore to continue fighting.

Lifesucks,<p>Keep posting we are here for you. <p>You matter, don't ever lose sight of that.<p>We are listening, keep posting.<p>Stay Strong!<p>Wallace

LS,
I'm sorry that you are so down. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] I'm in a funk today too. And perhaps for the same reason, someone has professed their love for me recently and I feel so sorry that I do not share their feelings. I haven't intentionally lead this person on, he just seemed to jump from a casual date to "I Love You" without all the inbetween stuff. Maybe this is not the problem you have, but I can tell you that I am depressed as heck about it. I don't want to hurt anyone and there is no one I can talk to about it either. <p>All that aside, it doesn't really matter if we share the same reasons for hurting, what matters is that you are hurting and that there are a lot of good people here who will listen and give you feed back, as you well know. I'm here and I'm listening, you aren't alone.<p>ASM [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Wallace,
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>You matter, don't ever lose sight of that.<hr></blockquote>I wish you were right.<p>AStrongerMe,
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>there is no one I can talk to about it either.<hr></blockquote>That I can understand. Even coming here is very hard for me to do. There are only a few people here that I "know" I coud talk to openly, but in order for me to really do that, I would have to come clean about who I was in my previous life.....I'm not prepared to do that. The memories of that life are still too painful....not that my current incarnation is any better.<p>At least I am here, and not doing what I want to do.<p>[ June 02, 2002: Message edited by: Life Sucks ]</p>

LS,
Sorry if I'm being dense, but what is it you want to be doing now? Are you wanting to spend time with this woman but you are frustrated by her words not connecting with her actions?
Does she know how you feel about her unwillingness/inability to committee? Ummmm, is there a reason she can't commit, yet she says she loves you...is she already involved or married?
If none of the above, then are you sure you are reading her correctly? Telling someone they love them IS a commitment of sorts so what is it you are looking for?<p>Does telling your past identity have anything to do with this? Believe me, I really don't think anyone will condemn you and it may help those who remember you to help you now. But of course this is your decision. (I guess I can think of a few reasons why you may want to remain unattached from your prior self.)<p>We're here, let us help you now.
ASM

AStrongerMe,<p>so many questions.....<p>Yes she knows about my feelings, and yes her saying one thing and doing another is pretty much tearing me apart.<p>I made some friends, and I made some enemies in my previous life here. I actually have a very long past on these forums, and while there are a few still posting who would undoubtly remember me....what I experienced in my previous life will not help in this one.<p>I know I am being vague, but for now....for me it's best this way.
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>We're here, let us help you now.<hr></blockquote>I am trying to do just that. Ir eally have no where else that I can go. I have tried to turn to my family to discuss this, but they really do not understand what I feel and why. I have tried to explain myself to them, but nothing seems to work. I am very much alone right now, and as I mentioned earlier, it took an awful lot just for me to come back here tonight in the first place.

LS,
Sorry for all the questions...it makes it easier to help when we have something to go with. <p>Although I have a idea of who you are, it doesn't matter because you are a person who is hurting now and who needs to know others care. Enough about that subject.<p>I still don't understand why she can't commit. And you didn't answer the question about her availability status. <p>I know what it is to want someone you can not have for one reason or another. That is why I am hurting for the man who I can not commit to now. I empathize with both you and my friend. It really does hurt to know you care for someone and they don't or can't share those feelings.<p>I'm sorry that your family isn't helping you. Sometimes family is too close to the situation or they want something different for you than you think you want. <p>I guess instead of saying we are here for you (which you already know), I should be asking "how can we help?".<p>ASM [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Lifesucks,<p>You do matter, I know you don't think you do, but you do.<p>Is there anything we can help you with?<p>Wallace<p>[ June 02, 2002: Message edited by: Wallace ]</p>

Yes, how can we help you, my dear friend?

AStrongerMe,<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I still don't understand why she can't commit.<hr></blockquote>Neither do I ASM, neither do I. <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I guess instead of saying we are here for you (which you already know), I should be asking "how can we help?".<hr></blockquote>I wish I knew how to answer that question. I can't even answer it for myself........If I could, I might not be in this position.<p>Wallace,<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Is there anything we can help you with?<hr></blockquote>I just answered this same question for ASM, I think...<p>I don't really know know what it is that I want.<p>... that's not really true, but I hope that I am making some kind of sense.<p>It's getting late. I haven't eaten dinner yet, and my bed time is in 10 minutes...<p>I think I will come back tomorrow.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Life Sucks:
<strong>I think I will come back tomorrow.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Just be sure you do. I got really worried last time -- and the times before that, you know.<p>Remember, there are those of us who always liked you, always respected you... and yeah, so there's people here who never understood. Been there, lived that too...<p>WE WILL SURVIVE. You too... you too...

I think that is a good idea... eat and get some sleep. If you can do that, then you will probably be in a better position tomorrow to deal with what is troubling you.<p>Sleep well... Stay Strong!<p>Wallace

LS,
I second what Sheryl says. You are part of the MB family. Don't worry about those who disagreed with you. <p>I hope that today is better for you. I hope that is why you haven't written again. I do hope that you let us know how you are doing. We care.<p>ASM [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Life:
(Don't like the "sucks" part even though I understand that's how you feel. I care about how you feel and what you want and need.<p>As my name says,I am a nurse (RN) and am concerned your message sounds like you may be clinically depressed. Have you considered this? My suggestion is for you to see a physician as you may benefit from a prescription anti-depressant and/or counseling. Not trying to preach medical care to you and I don't believe medicine can help everything, but ir might help. I'm just genuinely concerned and it's just a friendly suggestion.<p>My best wishes to you "Life"...... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]