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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1 |
My H and I have been together for 16 years.. all details aside he had an affair 2 years ago. I could not let it rest. He changed, was trying to prove that he loved me and it was a mistake. I wouldnt let him. I pushed him further away until 1 month ago he walked out. Told me that I drove him to do this and his feelings have changed.
He told me Friday that he no longer loved me and he wanted a divorce. I promised him that I would change. I am in ocunseling tree times a week and I am trying...
However, he says that he made his mind up and is filing for a divorce. He was supposed to go do that monday and when I asked if he did, he himmed and hawed and finally said no. Said that I should call around and see if I can find a lawyer to represent us both as it will be cheaper.
The point is I DONT WANT THIS!!! I am willing to make the changes that need to be made. I know what I have to do... But he seems so adamant that he wants out..
When he left here a month ago he said he was filing. Now he says he has looked into it but done nothing yet. But that his mind is made up and this is what he wants..
Have any of you gone through the motions, had someone adamantly tell you that they wanted out, yet wound up reconciling in the end? I am not truly conviced that this is what he wants or he would have made the steps in that direction...
Please help....
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 42
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Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 42 |
My wife filed for divorce, had an affair, made me sell our dream home, and is ripping me apart financially in court. I did Marriage Builders, Light Her Fire, and Divorce Busting and nothing worked. Then all of a sudden she wakes up and realizes she wants to be a family again. Now I am not sure if I want to be with her. My standards are higher.<p>Who knows what will happen. Good luck.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
Sorry you find yourself here. I came here long after my divorce was final. I tried a modified Plan A without knowing about that plan. And it did make me a better person. <p>I recommend you try to save your marriage since you seem willing to work toward that goal. <p>Have you read much about HN/HN? If not, do so.<p>Then you might try learning a bit about the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. It would help you learn more about your individual personality types and the trial and blessings of your combination. Try www.personalitypage.com. There's a great book about the types and marriage - "Just Your Type".
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