I am in the Military stationed in Korea. I was home in March from emergency leave cuz my wife was having surgery. Since I have returned we have been working on issue we have from hurt and pain in our past. About a month after I returned to Korea, my wife had an affair with a guy she has known since high school. It only lasted for about 3 weeks. The whole time she was with him she still told me she loved and missed me. Then about 3 weeks ago she started having an affair with another man. She also started telling her friends and family that I have cheated on her and I had molested my 5-year-old daughter. <p>I was sent all this over yahoo from an anonymous person a week ago. A good friend of mine was in the room with me when I received it. I didn’t believe that it was true, but my friend thought it was true and sent some threatening e-mails to my wife. Now she thinks that I was the one that sent them to her or had him send them to her, but I had no clue of what his actions were. She was very upset that I thought she would do and say thing like that.<p>Well, while talking with many of our friends that are there with her, I have found out that everything is true. I have made many changes with in myself to regain my self-esteem and now I feel I am really somebody worthy of her love. Because of the changes I have made I know that we could be very happy together. But since she has been seeing this last guy she has been telling me she is not sure if she can stay to only get hurt again. Even with her cheating and saying what she has about me, I still want to stay and work everything out. Our friends are not sure why she has done this, one thinks that it happen cuz she was lonely and that when I get back she will kick him to the curb and stay with me.<p>I’m not sure if she will stay or leave, I want to save my marriage. But I am at a loss for what to do and how to keep my sanity until I can return to her and talk things out face to face.

I think you should read everything on this site. And then talk to her about why she had the affairs. It is very possible that she was lonely--with you overseas, it was impossible for you to meet her needs (love, affection, sexual fulfillment) and she turned to someone else to meet them. <p>You might also read "Surviving An Affair".

Dear end:<p>Yes there are great resources here for rebuilding your M. I want to state something here though. Do you know for sure that she has been accusing you of molesting your 5 yo. This is serious business End.<p>Clear that up now and fast. Have her write a letter retracting that or proving it. I am very concerned for your parental rights here not just the M.<p>All my best to you.<p>Jack

Jack is right. That could end your military career, could land you in jail/prison...lots of bad stuff. You have to clear that one up now.

I have read most of the info on this site and have tried talking with her to work things out. But for us to start working out the problems with us, she needs to admit that she has hurt me and did have the affairs. I do understand that with out me there her emotional needs are not being met. But it is still not excuse to tell her family and friends things that are not true. Yes she did say that I molested my 5 yo. Her best freind and another friend of our has told me about it. She has gone as far as trying to make an apointment with a counselor. She has yet to take her in and she started saying that about 3 weeks ago. If I thought my 5 yo, was molested I would have had her in ASAP to find out who and fry them.<p>Yes you both are right about it hurting my career. First she has to have some kind of proof that I did anything to her. That would be very hard to do since I have only protected and love my only blood child. I have informed my chain of comand about what is going on and they are trying to get me home about 2 months early, on 25 July. I hope you all are right that it is only cuz she could not handle not having those emotional needs met by me.<p>Thanks for your in put, I'll keep you informed on how it's going.