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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 32
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 32 |
My wife has been having an affair the past 11 months or so.... I was now ready to give up. I don't know what happened the past week but she now wants her life back. Does one let her back after all she has done the past 11 months. I waited for her for all this time... this week I was ready to go file (she does not know this) and all of a sudden she wants her life back? I finally told my parents 3 days ago. I'm ready to go but feel I should give her a chance but yet I have been patient enough... she had her chance.
HELP!
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 2,580
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 2,580 |
This is right in the time frame for affairs to end. So it is up to you now. Do you want the marriage? Is she willing to do the work to repair the marriage? Are you ?<p>This is a chance to build the marriage you BOTH want!<p>Apply the MB principals and you have the formula for success.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 517
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 517 |
MH, my W affair was 11 months also, see my signature line... I have given her and us another chance.. so far so good... I know it is a long road to recovery but it you can make it work your marriage may be better as a result of what it has gone through.. I know that I have learned so much as as result...
Only you can decide it you want to try, but please take a close look at where she is at and what she is willing to do...
Good luck,
Dave
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649 |
Maybe you didn't *tell* her you were ready to file..but maybe she just knew it all the same and figured she'd better snap out of it!<p>Whatever the reason, I hope you can make a go of it.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 659
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 659 |
It sure sounds like the love is there on your part. I think you should try it again and use all the stuff you have learned from MB. I know I would do cartwheels all over the house if given the opportunity.<p> They say the love will be stronger than ever.<p> love in christ<p> CAJUNKY<p>[ June 05, 2002: Message edited by: cajunky ]</p>
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 105
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 105 |
I know how hard your decision must be right now, but there are a lot of us here that would jump at the opportunity you have. <p>Sometimes it is not as much what we want as it is doing the right thing. Read your bible and pray about it. <p>Here is a bible search site. http://bible.gospelcom.net/<p>Search on reconciliation or other relevent words. I am sure you will find the answer.<p>A sample:<p> Hosea 3:1 The Lord said to me, "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes." <p>Read what the owners manual has to say. <p>John
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 100
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 100 |
I have to agree with John. It seems you may be in the same place your W used to be. You know what's right, but you don't feel it. That's exactly what my W says right now. <p>But life isn't about feelings. Feelings come and go. The only constant is right and wrong. Even your feelings for your W have left, they can and will grow back. I would do anything for the opportunity you have been given. See it for what it is, a blessing from God.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 550
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 550 |
Mr H, what did she say that was so real that you know she is sincere? Have she decided to leave OM, what are the facts that you know she's ready to return?
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Mr Hurt I agree with cajunky because if there was no more love for her in you left, you wouln't be here asking what to do.<p>It sounds more like resentment on your part that she finally came out of the 'fog' just as you were ready to give up on her.<p>I'd like to suggest to you that - if you haven't done so already - that you tell her that the only way that you would consider staying married to her is that she send a no contact letter to OM and to committ to marital recovery a la MB way. If she agrees then you've got a reason for staying married to her, otherwise well you get my drift.
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