It has been a long while since I posted here. I am usually a lookie lou! But am needing to vent so I thought about posting it hear.<p>STBX and I have been seperated for almost a year. The divorce has been going on since Oct. So much has happened to me in that time I still wonder why I am still sane. <p>A quick run down of the last 11 months.<p>First the split up and having to deal with those emotions, then having to deal with the emotions of my children. Then STBX only paying bills and not giving me any child support. Took him to court for that which really upset him that I would do that to him. <p>My oldest son totaled my only means of transportation and Was in the hospital for a week. (When I called my STBX about the accident he laughed - I told him it was not funny and that I was watching the firemen cut OUR son out of the car with the Jaws of life). STBX showed up at the hospital for a few minutes while son was there.<p>And now the topper on the cake. Our beloved cat knocked the trash can into the water heater and caused a fire in the house. Fire and smoke damage! The house is being remodled as I write this, but they have us living in an apartment about 20 minutes from the house and its driving all of crazy.<p>What upsets me now is that when my STBX walked away from the family on June 30, 2001 he took what he wanted - (All valuable thing) and said everthing else was mine inlcuding the house because it was falling apart and he didn't want anything to do with it. Well threw my attorney, I was asking that he help fix up the house so the children and I could live comfortable and not have to worry about things in the furture. STBX was furious about his. HE didn't want to have to put out anything towards the house. Anyway, now with the fire, the insurance is practially giving me a new inside of the house and now my STBX wants to profit off of it. <p>This is a man who has had nothing to do with his children for the past 11 months. Has never taken the children for one of his weekends and rarely calls them. He only appears at the house every 2 weeks to hand deliver me tha Child Support payment and say hello to the kids and leaves. I guess he feels that is enough time to spend with his kids.<p>Since we are not officially divorced, the insurance checks come in both are names, and everytime he sees one of the checks he asks how much of the check is his. I tell him everything that the money is to be used for the house. the last check was for about $30,000.00 But that is how much it is going to cost to rebuild the kitchen and everything else that was damaged in the fire. <p>Also he took everything he wanted and said everything else was junk and he wanted nothing else. Well we lost all furniture due to smoke damage and now he wants money for them. ARGHHHHHHHH<p>We have gotten court orderd to mediation which is on the 12th of June and he called yesterday and told me that he didn't think he should go because he is not budging on anything. That I can have the house and he will walk away - or if I ask for part of his money (pension and 401K) he will make me sell the house. <p>I am seeing my attorney today! I will see what she has to tell me. I Just so what this over with. I feel like I have been at a red light for almost a year and the darn thing won't turn green. <p>Anyway - I know this is a long post - but just needed to vent.

I'm so sorry you are going through all of that...I can relate. Why is it that when your life hits a rough road...it goes on and on. Why can't the few smooth roads go on and on? I remember when I was going through my divorce, my son ripped my transmition out of my car, my heater went during a blizard, and I broke my ribs. My divorce is over and things were calm for about two months. Then my older son decided to give me grief. I am now making arrangements to send him to military school. It never ends...but I hope it does for you. Keep yourself healthy and try to think positive. Most of all...keep your sense of humor. My ex was a lot like yours...wouldn't pay childsupport until the D became final...never took the kids, called the kids...and now two years later, he wonders why the boys don't want to be bothered with him. sigh....best of luck to you.

Bladybug,<p>I remember you........your separation date was a week b4 mine. And I also SOOOOOOOOOOO want this over. Get that man out of my LIFE (sorry staunch MB'ers, but my man just isn't worth fighting for anymore!)<p>I have a settlement date on the 14th, but he doesn't even have to be there!!!!!! He is overseas, so everything is done through his lawyer.......oh GOOD for him. Never has to deal with any emotion at all over this. And divorce can be filed on July 7th......we have to be separated for a year by Australian law. He is going to get a bit of a surprise, because I have told him over and over that HE would have to file against ME. But I have decided to file. I want it over. I do not care if he comes begging on his knees now. I have been hurt too much for too long, and I have put an end to that in my own self.<p>BUT, I SO want this over, that I have decided that money fights just are not worht the PAIN to me......it will drag on and on. I have asked for what I am entitled to by law, and that is all. I could have gone for so much more, but with a fight. I am just so sick of this that I want OUT and I do not care if I get all the extras.<p>So I understand, sweetie,<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Thanks HappyMac and Nina Too for your replys. Yes, I remember you too Nina - you are right , our seperations are around the same time. <p>Went and saw my attorney. She and I talked for awhile, and she said that she hated to say it, but the fire was a blessing of sorts for me and the kids. That we will get all that we want done to the house. <p>I told her that I just wanted this mess over with. That it has gone on to long. That I was willing to forget the pension and 401K just to finially have him out of my life. She said that she thought that was a good thing too as I was going to get the house, but that she said that I am entittled to some of his savings. So she is going to fax over to his attorney the papers and if he agrees - then it will be over in a few weeks. <p>I hope that I am not hurting myself in the processes finiancially, but I think for my sanity and the sanity of the children this will be the best.<p>I told her that I also wanted the child support payments to go through the courts as I felt that if he can't spend any time with the children, why should I allow him to stop by every 2 weeks, hand me a check and leave. <p>They say that God works in different ways, and that he only dishes out what he feels each of us can handle. I have decieded that GOD thinks I must be pretty strong and I am thankful to him daily.<p>Divorce is hard - and when you have blinders on its even harder - but my blinders finially came off, and I am on the road to a better place in my life. I have become stronger every day and for that I am thankful too!<p>I will keep my chin up and live day to day! I will survive and I will be happy and I will try my best to help my children be the best they can be. <p>Thanks for letting me vent alittle today!
Beth