I know that sounds crazy but do they ever accept the fact that the break up of the marriage was because of a 3rd person in the marriage? My X still claiming it she only a friend. Below is a list of why I dont believe him.<p>1. gets caught down dirt road outside city limits in patrolcar with MOW. reported to Mayors office. told to find another job or will be fired.<p>2. tells me he wants out of marriage then gives me her cell phone#, home#, email address to stay, saying its over he wants our marriage to work.<p>3.Cashiers at local stores tells h is seeing her before work each morning. this time another nurse is bring her to see him. A different store clerk says H is meeting a heavy set blond, MOW has dark hair.<p>4. police co-worker & friend tells me how he is talking so much to her on her job h isnt covering him on the streets.

5. H tells me it was just oral sex thats not counted as an affair. Now cant remember telling me.<p>6.talk with MOW H she tells him she wants out of her M & wants to be with my H. MOW H tells me he wants his wife back if she will leave my H alone.<p>7.gave h a choice her or me, he left if he cant have her for a friend he cant stay with me & our son.<p>8. still hasnt called or emailed our son at home since july-01. this one hurt our son, I still dont understand why.<p>9. got joint custody of our son then tells him last week lets just see each other on sundays only.<p>10.takes MOW & her 3 kids out on the town every sat. we havent been out in 5 yrs. vaction was 7 yrs & X parents went with us.<p>11. takes MOW & her 3 kids to his new work place tells them she is his girlfriend. MOW kids told dad.<p>12. tells his mom & dad she is just a friend & I wont let him have any female friends, they are not speaking because I kicked him out & told lies about affair.<p>13.H tells me that he is closer to MOW now because of me? Im the reason he is falling in love with MOW. what a jerk.<p>14. Juge put in our judgment of divorce that the breakdown of the marriage was largely attributale to the h questionable conduct with respect to a nurse employed at atmore community hospital and controversies arising out of his personal relationshiop with her. I thank God each day for this, it may seem petty to others but for me its part of my healing.<p>15. before leaving home tells me its all MOW fault she would hug him when he came to her job, what was he suppose to do? I told him you could have said you were married. was told by X that I couldnt touch him while in police uniform.<p>16. Chief of police & his boyhood friend tells me it was more than friendship, later tells me that he told everyone at police station he was sleeping with her.<p>17. 258 mins on his cell phone, only time he called home was to see if dinner was ready.<p>18. nurses where she worked tells me A been going on for over a year before I found out. MOW telling her H that she worked a double then My H would come in patrol car while he was on duty get her bring her back before her shift was over. <p>19. chief of police (x best freind) told to find another job after mayor learns about coverups for X. it got really bad, x kept money that was turned into him then a police report was made against another man for stealing it. X later told me that he took the written report on the man. x had already left the city when they found out, city covered it up so that they wouldnt be sued. both x & his friend have a nice state job where they dont know about their past work record.<p>
my list could go on, there has always been someone in our marriage who I have wonder about. it has always been a friend wife. 1st he tells me how great she is then he starts saying how could his friend live with a woman like her. I believe when the W doesnt respond to him he hates her. are there people who just want what someone else has? Thank God I made it without losing my mind.

To answer the question,

Do cheating X's ever accept responsibility?

IMHO, some do, but most don't, so the answer is no, not most of the time.

Wallace<p>[ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: Wallace ]<p>[ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: Wallace ]</p>

Wallace is right---those of us who come out of the fog and are adults and emotionally stable, know that we are to blame for the problems that the a brought about.<p>My h wasn't meeting my needs the way I wanted them met but HE is not responsible for my actions. And to an extent, the OM wasn't either. I am, me and me alone...I am the one who cheated on my h and betrayed him and I am the one who will be punished for it. I am the one who can't forgive myself...who no longer respects or trusts me. This will never change. <p>And Wallace is right that some people will always find an excuse to blame it on someone else. My h had an EA long before my a but he will never concede that it was an affair, though not physical, and he always says it's my fault because of the way I treated him at the time. I still say anytime you discuss your intimate life and thoughts with another woman then you leave your wife to pursue a relationship with that ow, that is an affair. But it still doesn't excuse my actions.