My spouse of 11 years wants out. She complains of all the work she did in our relationship and the sacrifices she made. She claims I never worked hard enough or did enough around the house and the yard. I could go on with the list it seems she only remembers the negatives and when I bring up the fact that I would take kids to work with me on weekends while she was flying among other jobs and chores I did that is discounted and tossed aside. It seems I NEVER did enough. A man seems damned if he does and damned if he don't. A businessman may have to travel all over the country he may make great money but what about time with kids and spouse? A man has these roles to play, Provider$$$ bringing home the bacon. Maintainer yardwork fix cars... Nurturer play with kids talk with wife spend time with family. I do not see how a man can fill all these roles to everyones satisfaction. My wife is in a big hurry she wants this divorce done before the fall. I'll give her a divorce but I hate to rush ahead so quickly shes like we'll get a mediator have papers drawn and signed and it's done. I mean after 11 years is this just a bit rushed and ridiculous? We have not even tried counseling she said she would go but just so it didn't take too long. I feel like I'm on a cattledrive and its "get going get going" I love her with all my heart and yes I've made mistakes but she seems unable to forgive she can bring up the past like she has a ledger of all my screwups why does God make people like that? This will be her 2nd divorce and my first and last! She has this rosy idea of life after the divorce where everybody gets along and we're roasting chestnuts over the fire, COME ON!!! Do people not realize the DAMAGE this does to us and our two kids. What should I tell my children? My boy is 8 years and My daughter is 11 years old. It seems I NEVER did anything right in her eyes. She says she loves me but NOT LIKE IT SHOULD BE. I feel like I'm under INCREDIBLE PRESSURE from wife to hurry up and decide what you gonna do??? I feel very sad and hurt.

----We have not even tried counseling she said she would go but just so it didn't take too long.---- <p>I am new here, but I think you should try marriage counseling since your wife is willing. My husband has never been willing to go to counseling. I posted for the first time yesterday, if you read my story. Being a wife, I understand your wife's point of view. She may not be able to see the good things about you right now, just as my husband cannot about me. The best thing I can tell you is to read Dr. Harley's information on this website, especially about Love Busting, and read some of the other posts. Dr. Harley's book "His Needs, Her Needs" is a good one. It sounds as if you and your wife have had a breakdown in communication, as my husband and I have. I know what you are going through right now, and I know how hard it is. Take care of yourself right now. Here is a quote I posted that may help you:<p>----I talked to a priest and he said I needed to take care of myself. He gave me an example of not taking care of yourself. He used to work construction, and he had an important project. He put off going to the doctor. When he did go to the doctor, he had to have all the toes on one foot amputated. The priest said I need to do something good for myself emotionally (for example, talk to someone), spiritually, and physically every day.----