Well, a year ago I never thought I'd be posting on this topic. I was deep in "fixing" my marriage & constantly trying MB.<p>It only works if both parties want it.<p>WH does not see the damage he has done by his 13 years of cheating (I had no idea).<p>I can't forgive him if he isn't remorseful.<p>I have filed for a D.<p>He promised me the "world" if I stayed with him, but he couldn't promise me that he could change his ways. <p>Now he wants everything....He has hidden all his assets, lost his job & doesn't have a place to live. He doesn't think I deserve alimony and thinks I should pay the rest of the mortgage (only $100 left) and get a job.<p>I've been a devoted wife & mother of 4 for 17 years....<p>Why should I get screwed ? It's not fair. He destroyed our marriage, he broke the vows...why can't he just suck it up & pay for his mistakes?<p>Doesn't he owe me anything?????

I hear you loud and clear. It is not fair that you gave and gave for years and he took. I am sorry that your marriage is breaking up, but if he has no interest in keeping it together, there is only so much a person can do. I love my husband, but lately feel like I have had very few of my EN met. He also has done several LBs, and I am just angry at him. I am sick of plan A and sick of pretending the A never happened. He doesn't want to talk about it. Enough of my vent, sorry. Make sure you get a good attorney. As a last ditch effort you might give him a copy of the MB books and tell him this is his only way out, but that he will need to earn his way back. The cold reality may be hitting him for the first time. Someone else probably has better advice, but I just thought I'd add my 2 cents.

I know that the following is poor consolation for the pain you are going thru but it is oh so true when it comes to unrepentant WS's, but remember that what goes around comes around.

I'll second what TooMuchCoffeeMan just posted.<p>In addition, he owes you a lot more than just money.<p>I'm so sorry for your pain, it is a very frustrating and painful time, I know.<p>Keep posting and let us know how this develops.<p>Stay Strong!<p>Wallace

Dear L:
I feel your pain also. I gave up my career to move to the U.S. so my H could develop his career. Once he got successful and got a sports car, he was gone. We can't divorce because we are waiting for the green card. He is grudgingly helping me out so I won't move back home with the kids. I get my work permit in 3 months and look forward to some independance. It sure isnt fair, is it? You give your life for someone and they take everything away.<p>Focus on yourself now. If you find a career that is satisfying and helps you to be independant, it can really help your self-esteem. Have a good support system. Prayers are definately necessary. I joined a church right away and they have been such a great help.<p>And at least you know you are not alone in this.<p>God bless,
Kim

Louser,<p>Stop all talks with him. Get a lawyer immediately, that is THE best way to protect "you".<p>Take care and sorry you are going through this.<p>ANNA