last weekend his jelousy came back again. I am so sick of it. I thought he was over it. We went away with 4 couples to this big barn party and when we were at the dance, (he had lots to drink previously) these two girls tapped my H shoulder when I was somewhere else and said "talk to us" so he did, I came back and joined in the conversation - needless to say they left quickly after they saw he was attached. I gave him a hard time - and said after, I don't care, I trust you...but remember that - if that was me you would of blew a gasket. All he said is "I wasn't going to be rude, thats why I talked to them" So around 1 1/2 hours later a girlfriend and I were dancing and her friend joined in (a guy) and she put our hands together to two step, so I wasn't going to be rude and walk off although now I see I should of, my H got so angry, he stomped off, wouldn't let me touch him, said "If I knew you were going to dance with some cowboy, I would of gone off and danced with some hussy too." What a jerk thing to say! I told him it was a friend of our friends, he is married and it was just a dance, and I will never dance with anybody again if it upsets him so much. I am so sick of this! It makes me so MAD!!!!! <BR>I just needed to vent. <p>[This message has been edited by fed up (edited May 25, 2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by fed up:<BR><B>last weekend his jelousy came back again. I am so sick of it. I thought he was over it. We went away with 4 couples to this big barn party and when we were at the dance, (he had lots to drink previously) these two girls tapped my H shoulder when I was somewhere else and said "talk to us" so he did, I came back and joined in the conversation - needless to say they left quickly after they saw he was attached<BR>[This message has been edited by fed up (edited May 25, 2000).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I wonder if it's your husband's jealousy or if you're jealous? If you trust your husband, as you say in your post, why would you walk up to the conversation in the first place? Did he invite you into the conversation?<P>When my husband and I are at a dance, if he is away from the table and another man comes to the table and asks me to dance or starts a conversation, I don't ask him to sit and I make sure he is a pretty good distance away from me.... not touching my body anywhere, not even my shoulder. If he asks me to dance with my husband absent from the table, I very graciously say, "You will need to ask my husband if it's okay." I will never, ever give rise to anything that would even plant a seed of embarassment or discomfort while my husband and I are in public. <P>Has this been a problem with you as a couple in the past? <P>Just an observation: If two women came up to talk to my husband in a social public situation and I wasn't around at the time, as soon as I came into his sight, he would motion me over, introduce to me the people if I didn't know them, and immediately put his arm around me. I know this because it's happened many times. I do the same with him.<P>One rule he and I go by in these situations is: Don't do anything with anyone out of my presence that you wouldn't do in my presence. That usually works for us.<P>Good luck.<P>Katherine<P><BR>

Fed up,<BR>I don't want to come across as judgemental but I would not do what you did without feeling like I was pouring fuel on the fire.<P>It reads as if you both are playing a few games. Keep in mind that I haven't read any of your other posts. Good luck!

No, in no way was I jelous of him talking to those girls. He did grab my hand and he did pull me into the conversation. <BR>As well, it was just a dance, he has danced with other people as well, its not like it was a stranger, it was a husband of a couple we met who are good friends of the people we came to the party with.<BR>He has a big jelousy problem and it is over things stupid as me looking at someone a certain way. <BR>

Hi Fed Up, how are you doing? Everytime I read your posts I laugh because It just amazes me that your husband could be so much like mine! Things are still going pretty good for us. No rude comments or stupid arguments in quite a while now. How old is your H? My H is 34 now and has been growing up more every year since about 32. In fact he has admitted to me that I forced him to grow up by not listening to him!! If he was going to get upset by something as harmless as dinner with a girlfriend I just calmly reasoned with him and went anyway. He says I am forcing him to trust me. If I'd known it was as simple as not getting upset by his irrational behavior and doing whatever his unreasonable side wanted me to do I would of done this years ago!! No new advice here, just wanted to say hello!<BR>

Hey lynn<BR>thanks for replying. I was wondering how things were going with you. My H is 32 and hopefully that maturing will start, he has started to mature in some areas, but needs a way to go. I will have to try not letting him upset me, but man..old habits die hard, it is so hard sometimes to be calm when they such stupid irrational things. The subject of the dance has been dropped, we really didn't discuss it after and I think its better left alone. He has been really good in the last little while, he even called me to go out for lunch today, and asked me to go out golfing with him last night. So things are improving. I did talk to him and told him that I think that he should cool it on the drinks when we go out with other people, he did agree, so hopefully he will follow through. <BR>Thanks again for replying, its nice to know I don't have the only immature man around.. HA HA HA!<BR>