I had to talk to my H tonight. He is the one that called. (by the way...he's on a "trip" and didn't tell me or the kids where he is....nice huh???) He called to talk to the boys and then to me concerning divorce stuff. We should be divorced by July 22nd. I hold my tongue all the time because he tends to say things like....if we can't agree we will have to go to mediation. I try to act cool about it...but mediation wouldn't be good!<p> I have always considered him my best friend. Tonight on the phone....I said something that bothered him......when he talked to me....it sounded like he just doesn't even like me. That really hit home. He really wants to be done with me. If he didn't have to talk to me....he wouldn't. <p>I never thought that I would want to be divorced. I think I need to be done. I can't deal with him anymore. I don't like the person he is. A few weeks back he said something about me trusting him about the boys.....I looked at him and said "sorry...there is no trust when it comes to anything with you" Needless to say he was offended. <p>I need to be done......I can't take this stress anymore. I hate when my kids hand me the phone and say "it's dad". I hate when I see an email with his name on it. I get ill....I think the worst....and most times I am right. I hate even having to deal with my lawyer.<p>This just stinks....I am starting to feel depressed all over again.<p>MAX

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way tonite. <p>However, I'm a little relieved that someone else feels the same way about their STBX as I do. <p>I too hate to see the e-mails and answer the phone or listen to the messages because they are always rude and ugly.<p>Make sure that if you need to, get everything spelled out as far as schedules with kids, drop off times and points and when and where you discuss kid issues. That way you will know when you have to deal with him. My ExH talked me into just trying to work it out between us and let me tell you - it's a disaster, so we're back to court to get something rigid.<p>And I wouldn't be so afraid of mediation. It's probably the best solution because then your interests are beign considered. <p>Just set your boundaries for now and you'll make it. K

Hi,<p>I am feeling the same way, unfortunately, but in my case the phone calls or emails are not nasty, just polite and restrained....he keeps his wall firmly in place. I recently posted about this, so here is the link:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=34&t=006401<p>There comes a time when it is so important to look after yourself, and forget about how X's are going to feel if you don't want to talk to them, or say something considered an LB. I do not take calls from my stbx anymore, and when I think the call may be him, I get the kids to answer, or I do not answer. I explained to him LONG ago via a Plan B letter why this was so necessary for me, but of course he tries to get me anyway. SIGH.<p>Mediation may be the way to go...as far as I can see from what others say here, at least there is someone there trying to keep things even. I wish you luck.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky