My H claimed back on 5/10 (see 'Is it too late?') that he would leave at end of school year (about 6/22). During the past month we have gotten along quite well except for a couple of LB's, but in many ways grown closer-more open communication, spent more time together, SF has been frequent and great.<p>Over the past weekend 2 of his friends told him he'd be crazy to leave and seemed to have some influence over him. Our oldest D (age-11) asked him if he still was leaving. He responded that he didn't know but if he did it wouldn't be for long. I'm not sure what long is.<p>I had planned to discuss w/him yesterday (6/10)his plans and get legal separation agreement in place but a friend of mine suggested waiting til weekend. That leaves only 1 wk if he still plans to go 6/22. How should I approach this? <p>To most people, they would have no idea we were on verge of splitting. He obviously is torn and I'm not sure if he feels he needs to get away to sort his feelings (he is also suffering from depression and new med should take effect any day) or to hook up w/OW. I haven't asked in 2 wks if he has been in contact. It was an EA (which he really won't acknowledge). He spoke w/her w/in the past month but claims he didn't tell her he was leaving. I don't know if I believe that. She made it clear that if he wasn't married, she'd be interested. I am afraid he has arranged to hook up once he leaves and may still go thru w/it to test the waters but plans to leave on good terms in case it doesn't work out. I have mentioned this and he has denied it.<p>When and how do I ask if he is still planning on leaving?

Sorry, just bumping.<p>I'd like the answer to this one myself also. H kept stating he was looking for apt etc for over a month lately, but never tells me he actually found one or is moving. I'm beginning to wonder if its all a bluff. I am afraid to ask cause I dont want a confrontation & that is sure to be his defense. He would yell at me that all I want is the house, when in fact he's avoided me and our house & friends for almost a yr, except to sleep here on the floor! How does a person get the nerve up & act like their heart is not breaking . . and say - well, are you moving out or what -!!!

Bump up [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>"Is it too late ?" from HeWantsOut is over on the emotional needs board. Advice here please!!<p>[ June 14, 2002: Message edited by: AgainstTheWind ]</p>

my answer is that you don't bring it up, nor do you mention it. . . its his responsibility, and his decision. . . don't force it, but continue in Plan A, and be sure that whatever plan A is for you, that you cna continue it for a lifetime . . <p>wiftty

When and how do I ask if he is still planning on leaving?
You don't, as wiffty said.