I have post numerous times here over the last few years..........but for the first time......I feel like my relationship is over with my ex wife. We have never been typical. We both held hope that we would end up together. I finally started to realize the last few weeks that she just isn't ready to get back together. She loves me and I do not doubt that, but she is going thru a process where I need to let her go. I need to let her discover herself. She doesn't want a committed relationship right now. I though I would never get to this point. I feel I love her more than ever........and knowing things can not be how I wish is something that I have to admit is killing me. It is for the best, as we are at different points. I can barely even type this as I am starting to cry.........I feel like I have lost the woman that means everything to me. I feel like the kind of family I desire will never be again. I have my children to love. I feel however they are getting cheated out of something a loving family. I know I need to be strong.....but I need a good cry right now. <p>How can I begin to let go? How do I begin to heal/grieve?

Hurting I too have all those emotions and sometimes a good cry does help. I was brought up to beleive that a marriage is forever and although when my X cheated on I tried everything I could to piece my family back together but she had the ultimate decision. I sometimes feel like I let down my children although I am a devoted father and was a devoted husband but it sux to see our children in a broken family. What helped me was to focus on my children and try to be the very best father that I can be. You will be OK time will heal your broken heart. The hardest thing is to realize that you have to let go once you make that decision things eventually do get better although it does take alot of time.
It's been a year and half for me and I'm just now getting use to my new life.
Hang in there be strong for you and your children<p>Carl<p>[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: Carl ]</p>