New to MB but I have agreed to DV from WH. The problem is that he isn't moving forward on this. I don't think he has even put in a change address for his mail to go to his apartment. I am bound and determined not to do the filing and told him this. I have e-mailed regarding other things since and still no response. Had S ask what my plans are for this weekend. (Going to a culinary festival, by myself to think). Told S and I assume that he relayed to WH. Since Sunday is Fathers Day I assumed that he would want S to stay with him. I called S back and left message to this effect. Just want to know if anyone else has had this happen to them. They want and ask for the DV and then they don't do anything about it?
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The walk-away spouse is not sure. They are tired of a poor relationship and they think a divorce will make them happy. But there is hope.<p>Read the board and Divorce Busting http://www.weiner-davis.com

Thanks for the link. I plan on going to the library and checking it out. I don't know that M is repairable at this point as he is still seeing OW. Told me just last week that he still loves her and actually had enough nerve to bad mouth me to the kids that we couldn't work things out because I expected him to give up everything. I assume that he believes OW is everything. He is drowning. He isn't even treading water and I sometimes wonder if I would be better off without him. I still care very much for him but this has been so heartbreaking to me that I feel like I don't have the love that I used to have for him. He is not the man that I married over 20 years ago and don't think he ever will be. I'm planning on getting additional books on divorce and how to handle communication, etc. Maybe that will give me some insight on what is going on with him. Truly, I beleive that he expected me to do the work on the DV. I've always taken care of anything that is remotely financial or household affairs. He is too stubborn to ever admit that he was wrong and he would have a lot of fixing to do before I would even consider having him be my husband again. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Your story is very similar to the ones I've read on Divorce Busting.<p>Mine. We had everything friends, money, houses, kids, yada yada yada. She seemed unhappy and told me she wanted a divorce. I divorce busted like crazy. She post-poned everything for a while and moved out one day. She blaimed me for everything. Filed for divorce. The whole world was/is my fault. She started dating OM.<p>Then she realized one day that half of the problems are hers. That the OM was not me. That we should stay together has a family.<p>Now it is me. I'm not sure if I want her back. My standards are a lot higher now.<p>My point is you never know what may happen in your life. Keep those doors open. Once they are shut then most likely they will be shut for a long time.<p>Good luck

dream,<p>I am in a similar situation. My WS filed for D in 11/01. With the exception of custody mediation a couple of weeks ago, she has taken no steps regarding the D. We are still living together and I have suggested several times that we sell the house and share custody of our daughter in the interim. You'd think she would have jumped at any chance to be away from me, but she is dragging her feet (I believe OM is now out of the picture). This puzzled me and I talked to Steve Harley about it. He thinks that she just wants to be happy and she knows deep down getting divorced will not make her happier and will only complicate her life, but she can't see how she can be happy again with me, so she's between the proverbial rock and a hard place. <p>Hope that maybe this helps.<p>sad dad

itabd,
Check out the GQII section here as it gets more traffic. There are stories just like yours all the time.<p>God Bless,<p>D

Thanks for all the advice. Unfortunately it just keeps getting worse. Got something in the mail yesterday about our D's College Loan. I have been making payments on this Loan but WH's business is through the same bank and now they are going to try and apply money from school Loan to business loan and call us in default for student loan. I am beside myself. Like DD said I need to decide what my standards are now. I would like to keep those doors open especially for the kids sake. Don't know how he is going to fix this one. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]