Posted this on GQII, just need some input!! Thanks friends!!<p>I guess I have had a lot of time on my hands the last two days or so, which makes me think and wonder too much I guess. (I will be busy again next week)
There have been alot of post concerning Plan A recently, from the beginning I fully understood that Plan A was for me and not WH. That's not the problem I'm dealing with. I guess it is that I didn't write down the things that I wanted to work on and change about myself, so I have nothing to measure my success, I know that I have been successful in Plan A as far as me goes, I have more patience, I listen completely before responding, I chose how I say things, differently, more attune to others feelings, re ask what someone says so that I make sure I understand, I don't fly off the handle, I don't want to punish for every wrong that is done to me. I didn't make any physical changes as of yet.<p>WOW!! I did do alot of changing, I believe that most of those are visible to those around me. I guess.<p>I didn't change the things that needed to be changed to make me more attractive to my WH, and that is what is bothering me today. I had prayed and hoped so much that somehow things would change in my situation, and they haven't. That hurts!!<p>I was so devasted back in Jan 01, that I know that I did alot of begging and pleading at first and hauled us to different counselors as my WH said hoping that one of them would wave their magic wand over him and puff his feelings for OW would go away. When they didn't, I just kind of ignored the situation and went on with my life with the new roommate that I had, kept appearences up for the kids sake til June of 01, when kids were told, seperated Aaug 01. I asked WH to look at MB and he did, and then said that his situation was so different and unique from any that he read here that the site wouldn't help him.<p>I guess with the end being so near I am wondering did I not do something in the beginning that I should have, should I have done more? I just kind of left WH alone to do his own thing, never really LB'd much, just didn't see the point!! Well except for that one phone call after the e mail mix up!!!<p>I wonder if I would of rocked their boat, poked around a little if that would have done any good.<p>I just kind of feel stuck right now, like I didn't do enough, and "if only" I could go back and try this or that. <p>Again a long post and I am sorry, I promise I will be busy next week and wont have ttime to think!!!<p>Just let me know if you understand what it is I am trying to say here or just have a comment to make, all input is appreciated, it helps me to learn and be a better me.<p>Thanks all,
Dawn
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It's not you.<p>Remember that A's are like addictions. <p>Can a concerned family make an alcoholic or drug addict change? No. The change has to come from that person.<p>Remember too that usually all A's dies a natural death.<p>That means that by doing a Plan A, you are making the marriage an attractive alternative to WS when the A ends.<p>That's my take.<p>Don't beat yourself about what ifs, because if God wanted it to be different, it would be, but for some reason you are exactly where you should be, whether we like it or not.<p>You still never know what will happen in the future. <p>Take care of yourself! You're doing everyting right. K

Giic,<p>Thanks for the affirmation, I know all those things I really do, I just get to wondering sometimes!!<p>Hey go over to GQII and check out Faith1's photo album, some good pictures, nice to put names and faces together!!<p>Thanks,
Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]