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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 266
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 266 |
Signed on the computer and W was on line also, she im'd me and we started chatting. This is the first time we have talked in about 2 months other than about our child. WE talk about how things are going in eachothers lives. I then ask if she would like to go to dinner and a movie sometime. She replied No not yet, you still come across hostial to me. I have been on my best behaviour when i am around her since she left. How can I be coming across as hostial? Ladies will you please explain? Help me understand how she might be taking me the wrong way.<p>Just trying to understand.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079 |
Not sure how we can help if we don't have an example..
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 266
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 266 |
Wish i could give you one but when I asked for one she never responded.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 56
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 56 |
Her antenna is up.. my guess is she is very sensitive to anything you say or do, that can be interpreted as negative.<p>You might have said only one little thing, that came off as slightly sarcastic, cold, or condescending. She interpreted it as hostility.<p>My advice is, (and I don't know you both), for you to try to be as nice and unthreatening as possible, and just give her some more time. When she sees how harmless you are, maybe she will let herself trust you.<p>Good luck.
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649 |
I think avatar is right...she is still stuck in the past with you and probably certain words even trip her radar.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199 |
Look for lovebusters in your actions, and make sure you're doing a great plan A.
My H looks at me with pure hatred, but he doesn't see it. His face is stone cold, his arms are folded, and he can't even look at me. Of course, she couldn't see this on e-mail, but it's coming across.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 949
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 949 |
one thing that comes to mind for me is: respect her boundaries. Let her lead the relationship for awhile. <p>My H pursued me with a vengence and I would call that hostial. The unwanted "I love you's"... the unwanted dinner on my doorstep... the refusing to leave the house. <p>You may think you are being nice BUT if she wants space, give her space.
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