"Revenge, they say, is a dish best served cold. Not so. It is a dish best not served at all. Remember the schoolmaster who used to say, just before caning his pupils, “this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.” Well, in one way he was right. When we inflict suffering on others, no matter how seemingly great the justification, we do ourselves untold psychological harm. We cut ourselves off, sometimes irrevocably, from our most precious asset – sensitivity. We compromise our own ability to forgive and forget – yet if we do not have this, we have nothing of any value."<p>by Johnathan Cainer<p>This is my horoscope for today! This could be for all of us on those days you just can't take it anymore and are experiencing some serious stinkin' thinkin'!<p>Gayle

I say this...not tongue in cheek:<p>If it's so bad, why does it feel so good? I have a piece of info on my ex that could really hurt him and cause big problems in his relationship with OW. I've been hanging on to it for a long time and have played with using it, but have held off so far...mostly for fear of being caught. I will probably hold onto it forever, but fantasizing about using it is kind of satisfying to me...sick huh?<p>I know revenge is wrong, and would only really hurt me in the long run, but I also have to say I have no regrets for doing the few bad things I did shortly after discovery, throwing away his little black book and favorite sweatshirt. <p>right ~ vs ~ wrong...it's a struggle sometimes.

In my case I never have to worry about revenge on [censored] of any sort. He is living in a hell I can only imagine because I look at it every day. I think it is better to wait for the what comes around goes around thing, even though the little revenge things are sometimes satisfying.<p>As far as the little revenge, the black book - the sweatshirt, those kind of things aren't something that are going to ruin a life, physically harm someone, or get anyone put in jail. A little of that is good for you once in a while I think. As long as it doesn't become a habit. If it doesn't hurt anyone, really hurt them then it is a matter of judgement. I'm guilty of a few of those kind of things.<p>The what comes around goes around, or karma, whatever kind of label people put on it really happens. You may not always be around to see it or even hear about it, but trust me it happens.<p>After all the things [censored] did to me, he is sure getting his now. And even he is completely convinced that this whole accident was a sign from God that he was a huge a$$. He thinks that the accident is a punishment from God for the cheating and lying and all the crapola he did bad, and that the reason he didn't die was so that he could have a chance to change his life and try and make amends.<p>Now, of course the whole make amends thing is not something he is working on at all, but he's not known for his superior brain power.<p>Oh well, even if he did try he'd probably figure out a way to mess it up anyway.<p>So Allison, how good is the dirt? Of course it feels good to think about using it. You are human honey. It's just the way we are put together. <p>E

Hi A & E! (sounds like a familiar tv channel)<p>fantasizing about using it is kind of satisfying to me...sick huh?
<p>Naw, not really! That would make all of us *sick* then wouldn't it? Guilty as charged (the fantasy part)!<p>After all the things [censored] did to me, he is sure getting his now.<p>I know what you mean! Check out my other thread! Someone is getting theirs too and I don't have anything to do with it!<p>So Allison, how good is the dirt?<p>Enquiring minds want to know! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

And the Lord said "Revenge is mine".<p>Who are we to argue with the wisest beign in existence?

On a Denis Miller "Live" rerun last night, he was talking about people "trying" to be cool. He ended his monologue with:<p>"You shouldn't try too hard to be cool. Just be yourself! Unless you're an [censored]!" [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Don't know what that has to do with revenge, just thought of it... (and when I think of stuff, I usually better write it down somewhere!) [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

My WSTBXH, in his alcoholism, is doing more damage to himself than even I, in the worst of my revenge fantasies, would ever wish on him. <p>He believes that I am "cruel" and that I "hate" him because I have finally -- after 2 years of EA/PA, verbal abuse, being abandoned to run our business alone (while sending him a paycheck that is supporting him and OW), and untold lies -- just given up and stopped talking or interacting with him. <p>I'm going ahead with the divorce I filed for last July, I got an alarm system, and I'm enforcing the restraining order that I got last July because he broke into my house 3 weeks ago, trashed it, and threatened to kill me (in a blackout in front of witnesses), and came to work yesterday and erased all the files from the computer. <p>Now I'm sure he believes I'm taking revenge against him with the restraining order, but I'm really trying to get on with my life. He is a very sick person. I just want him to know that he cannot intimidate and terrorize me anymore.

Kind of reminds me of a saying I heard a few years ago. Can be applied to any gender, but since I am a BH with a WW, here goes....<p>Do you know what the worst punishment is that you can inflict on a man who has just "stolen" your wife?<p>
Let HIM have her....<p>hcii

Revenge is sweet..I like that! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I too have the goods on my stbx. I know a few things that would just turn OW's stomach, and if she knew what a cheater and a LIAR he is, she would not think him such a great chatch, especially when most of the lies were well before her time. He has a history, to say the least.<p>Yeah, the thought crossed my mind too, and I would LOVE to do it. I think the only thing holding me back is the knowledge that I have to deal with this man for a long time because of the kids. I do not want the atmosphere to be any more strained than it is.<p>Yeah, let them have each other, but in the meantime, be the wonderful people we are...they do start to see it again, even if they do not come back.

TMCM<p>And the Lord said "Revenge is mine".
<p>You are right! Who *would* want to argue with that!<p>2L<p>"You shouldn't try too hard to be cool. Just be yourself! Unless you're an [censored]!"<p>Tis' funny! That should be a thread title, I'd like to post to it. The problem is I'd enjoy it too much and my karma would go to you know where! <p>LetSTry <p>Now I'm sure he believes I'm taking revenge against him with the restraining order<p>Dear Lady what you have endured! May peace be around the corner for you! It is so sad to see what someone allows to happen to themselves! My father died an alcoholic in 93'. I'm an only child and he *never* laid eyes on my children. At the time of his passing they were a sophmore and senior in high school. The bottle was more important. Please let us know how it goes from here on out!<p>hcii<p>Let HIM have her....<p> Or *him*, whichever applies! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jacky<p>the only thing holding me back is the knowledge that I have to deal with this man for a long time because of the kids<p>G-o-o-o-o-d Girl! <p>I've read your thread regarding the soon to be ex's *confessions* and goodness knows you'd have every right in how you feel but they end up doing in themselves eventually. Hang tough!

Ragamuffin,<p>With a title like this who can resist. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] You all have forgotten the best saying on revenge:
"The Best Revenge is a Life Well Lifed."<p>God Bless,<p>JL

Hi JL! Good to *see* you!<p>"The Best Revenge is a Life Well Lived."
<p>Would you believe when I started this thread I did have that written in there but ended up leaving it out! Thanks for putting where it belongs.....in this thread!<p>Gayle

<small>[ August 09, 2004, 09:38 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>