I understand that my XH and I have to agree to it before switching our school-age son to another school. Luckily there has been no need, so far.<p>However, our daughter is 4 and he wants her to start Kindergarten this year at our son's school. I don't want her to start this year. She will not officially be old enough, although the school told my XH that they would make an exception. She isn't emotionally and socially ready for Kindergarten, according to her Headstart teacher from last year.<p>He was upset that I put her in Headstart without his consent and doesn't want her in the Readiness program I signed her up for.<p>Hey, I don't like his choice of day care, but I don't have a say in that ... so why should he be able to say where she goes to day care or preschool, or enroll her in school early?<p>We are in Michigan. Is this something to bring to the attention of Friend of the Court?

That's tough! <p>My take on joint custody includes decision making must be shared equally regarding doctors, education, etc. Our DD specifically states that, but I'm not sure what you agreed to.<p>Regarding your child starting KG...I would wait another year. We let my OD start early and ended up holding her back in 5th grade. She wasn't emotionally or educationally ready for middle school. I didn't want her dealing with the peer pressure, in addition to feeling insecure about the other things. It doesn't hurt to wait one more year.<p>I started KG when I was 4, and I was always youngest in my class. I hated that. Everyone else getting to drive & date except me. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]
Educuationally I did alright, but could have done better if my parents waited one more year.

I'll start adding info I find on joint legal custody for all ...<p>~~~<p>Joint Legal Custody. This one is far more common. It was developed by some smart judges (And there are some VERY smart judges out there: I hope you get one.) to solve some very specific problems. Here are the problems:<p>A. Mother is going on vacation, with her boyfriend, hiking in the wilderness of Oregon. This is all by arrangement, and the kids are being dropped off at dad's, because dad gets a month in the summertime with the kids. While mom is gone, one child gets hit by a car, in an accident. The doctor comes out of the emergency room, and advises that he needs emergency medical authorization to amputate the child's leg, to save the child's life. Dad says "go for it". The doctor asks "Do you have custody, or just visitation?" Now, we have to find mom, and pretty quickly, out there in the wilds of Oregon, to get that medical consent.<p>B. Same basic scenario, but the police bring the little angel home, for shoplifting. They are willing to release the child to his parent(s), and not press charges, this time. Oh, you don't have custody, just visitation? Well, where's mom, who does have custody?<p>C. Dad sends a note over to the child's school: please send me a copy of the child's report card, and any PTA notices, and any disciplinary/progress reports, etc. A very polite note comes back from the school: since you don't have custody, just visitation, we here at Happy Day School can't....you get the idea.<p>So the legislature, after repeated prodding by the judges, passed legislation related to a new (then) category, that of joint legal custody. Any of the legal affairs of the child, of any nature, but specifically including medical, police, and school, shall be considered to be joint between these parents, that is to say, DAD HAS JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY.<p>Further, (and this was the brainstorm of a rather junior legislative aide, who shall be nameless here) while we're at it, the following shall be true, in joint legal custody situations: the custodial parent shall be obligated to confer with the non-custodial parent as to all major decisions affecting the child's life. Read that carefully: the custodial parent is obligated to inform, and talk about it, but that doesn't mean that the non-custodial parent has veto power. It also doesn't mean that the custodial parent has the right to say "Well, I told you , and now I'm doing what I want to do". It means that the information will be provided early enough that a meaningful discussion will take place, and, if either party feels aggrieved enough, well, it's back to the judge.<p>Joint legal custody is the most common form of joint custody, and it's a wonderful invention, that was long overdue. There isn't any reason why most non-custodial parents SHOULDN'T have joint legal custody, and the focus has now changed: unless there is some compelling reason why not, then joint legal custody is going to be awarded to each party.<p>copied from http://www.childcustody.net/40.html<p>~~~~~

~~~~~<p>In Michigan, we have a presumption in divorces that where there are minor children, there is to be joint legal custody. Joint legal custody refers to joint decision making. It means that both parents are to share in decision making authority over the important matters effecting the welfare of the child or children. These would include education, medical care, religious upbringing, elective medical procedures and issues involving psychological counseling, certain extracurricular activities and summer camps. The important concept behind joint-legal custody is to make it clear that even in a divorce situation a child has two parents and there is to be communication encouraged between both parents with regard to issues effecting the children. It must be borne in mind in Michigan that in most cases, one parent has physical custody and the parent with physical custody is responsible for the day-to-day decision making as it effects the health, welfare, and best interests of the child or children.<p>copied from http://www.divorceonline.com/articles/f32011.html<p>~~~~~

EP,<p>Write him a letter, send it certified with a copy of the headstart teacher's evaluation included and cc the friends of court and headstart program, and his lawyer, and your lawyer.<p>State your intentions and your reasons and refer to the teacher's evaluation as to why you do not see that it is necessary to start your daughter in kindergarten yet. Perhaps open the lettter by summarizing the discussion that you have had so far with your husband. Then conclude it with an intention to do what the teacher has suggested.<p>You could also file this as a complaint yourself and save him the trouble. If he does not respond within 28 days you will get to do what you want. Meanwhile you will be moving in a positive direction and not letting him control you through your children... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

In my decree, we have joint legal custody but I have the right to make major decisions and only keep him informed. <p>We are in discussions about where s should go to school next year. x knows I have the power to send the child to any school I choose and only tell him about it. But, I know that this is a decision I want his input on. I was planning on making a big choice and it will cost x $8k if he goes where he's scheduled but $5k if I change him. So, for that big a chunk of change, he gets a say.<p>I say hold that daughter back. Evals from school or letter from teacher should do the trick.