c++_guy - <p>Just wondering how things were going. And no one word answers like "fine." <p>K

just fine [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

[img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

Dear GIIS:
sheesh
i posted a much longer reply, but it got lost.<p>sorry about that. it is after 1 am here, so i really need to go to bed.<p>i think of, and pray for, you often.<p>thanks for thinking of me.<p>i will post a real post tomorrow.<p>c++

And he wonders why communication was a problem in the M???? JK

Newly, <p>I have to say that he did make me laugh [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] - but I guess I should have expected a response like that from a mathematician - short, concise, to the point and technically correct.<p>Next time I ask a question, I'll be ready for him - [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hear that c++! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hope you had a great day - glad you went to bed instead of replying again - I don't want to be reading about any ferry boat crashes in the news.<p>K

Hello, GIIC:<p>Well, let me tell you how things are going. My divorce is in the courts and my lawyer tells me that things should be done soon <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> . This is a very strange place to be, as you know.<p>The house we (stbxw & I) own together is for sale (anyone want to buy a house? Only slightly used!) and should be sold by end of Summer. <p>I do not like my job, but I have a job, which is more than some can say, so for that I am thankful.
I am as brown a nut from working in the sun all day!<p>I am sharpening my skills every day, though I never seem to get as much done as I had wanted, I am a better programmer now than the day I was laid-off, and that means something to me (just before I started this post I was teaching myself to write code generators and learning the ins and outs of a new text editor---XEMACS for you silicon heads out there).<p>hmmmmmmmm...what else...I go to Church on Sundays and during the week, when I can, and if my work stops me from going at all, I stop into the parish Church and pray for a while. My faith is hard to come by for me, as I am always analyzing everything.<p>I had hoped to reconcile with W, but she is having none of it. I have had to learn to accept her decision and try to move on with my life. We do not have kids, though we do have 3 dogs and 4 cats (the lights of my life) together, so I will not HAVE to see her for the rest of my life at graduations and First Holy Communions/Confirmations and the like.<p>I guess that about covers it, except for my remodeling my kitchen in my spare hours.<p>Thanks for keeping up with me,<p>God Bless Us, Everyone,
c++

Sounds like you are doing ok - given the fact that there are some things about which you have no control. And that is excellent news.

bump

Hmmmmmmmm.<p>Do you kind of feel like you're in limbo?<p>I do. I used to have everything in my life planned out and now I feel like I'm just along for the ride. <p>It's good that you are working on the particulars of the divorce - it gives some closure - but there is still the annulment process to consider.<p>I have a few books like 101 questions about annulments etc. That I've read, and I've filed the petition, but I have completed the "marital analysis" yet. It's a quesitonaire about you and your spouse's entire life. The point is for the persons reviewing it to see if there is anything that shows that the marriage is not sacramental. In my case the only thing I have going for me is that ExH probably could never commit to one woman and therefore was not capable of entering into a sacramental marriage - a fact which could not be determined in hindsight - because it's a pattern that you can only see formed over time. You don't even need both spouses to do it and it takes about a year.<p>I used to think that marriage was forever in the Catholic church, but if you look at marriage as a sacrament, then both parties need to be living the sacrament and if one party chooses not to - well, there's that ole free will coming into play and there is nothing you can do. So the church understands this and allows you to get an annulment so that you can be free to enter into the sacrament with someone else. Personally, I think marriage preparation in the Catholic church stinks - it takes 4 to 8 years for men to study to become a priest (which is a sacrament and a vocation) but it only takes one weekend of preparation for the sacrament and vocation of marriage and there are way more married people than priests in the world and with marriage there are children involved(and sometimes dogs and cats)......<p>Something is not right there.<p>Our house is supposed to be one the market too. And I'm dreading a move because it will only rock the kid's world - not that ExH cares. But the kids already are facing the changes of him marrying OW, buying a new house and adjusting to their new life. The kids see my home as a safe haven and I don't want them to have to be totally uprooted in all areas of their lives.<p>ExH is on this furniture kick now - he has a list of furniture that he wants out of the house for his new house - and he wants it ASAP because he's moving in on July 14th. So he says jump and I'm supposed to jump - NOT.<p>Actually he is threatening not to let the kids go on a two week family vacation with my family of I don't give him the furniture he wants. What a gem.<p>I'm sure your wife is not acting this way.<p>Anyway, I digress.... why do I always do that - I try to have a short and succinct reply - but it never seems to work that way. Oh well, you can always just scroll down to the God Bless part.<p>Good Luck selling your house - and why remodel the kitchen if you're moving??????<p>I know, it's to give you something to do. So did you stop working on your trains - and whatever happened to your brother? <p>You don't have to say if you don't want.<p>Back to my original thoughts - since you are so analytical, why aren't you reading the books like a Case for Christ or the Case for Faith or books of writings by the saints? Ok, stay with me here for just a second. When going through this really incredibly awful period of our lives, it's great to get into a church - I practically lived in the chapel before the baby was born, but if you really want to find meaning and purpose to your life and want to develop that really incredible relationshpi with God - the one that doesn't make you cringe when someone says why don't you say the rosary and you want to say - but it's so boring ........ It's kind of like the whole MB thing. You can have that incredible relationship with your spouse if you both are meeting each others needs - well God is already meeting 100% of our needs, we just have to listen and talk to God and hold up our end and keep up and develop the relationship just like what we'd do with our spouses.<p>I see that you didn't say that you're doing any church activities - like a singles bible study(great place to meet girls - I know you're not ready yet but one day). Even reading the bible is good, but unless you have a bible study to go with it to help apply it to your life it's just hard to develop that relationship on your own. <p>Our parish has a spiritual director who gave me lots of books on divorce and such, but also some on finding God's plan for my life - there are tons of books - really short/small meditations that just get you thinking to lead you in the right direction and help you figure out what God has in store.<p>Which makes me think about my dad- he's old school - he's got lots of faith, but not the relationshp with God that he could have because he doesn't want to delve deeper into - well I don't know why, maybe it's fear, but God has actually spoken to lots of saints, who have written down what's been revealed to them, and those words can't help but make anyone believe. There is no much out there though, and I have 4 kids and a messy divorce, so my time is limited, but I've started half a dozen of their writings - I started with the women doctors of the church - Catherine of Sienna, St. Therese (there's only 3 women doctors of the church I think)because one of them is my parton saint. I also read the diary of St. Sr. Faustina - it's longer than Gone With the Wind. But I've learned more about God and my life through what God has revealed to those people than I could have ever come to know on my own.<p>The point of my ramblings is that if you ever finish remodling the kitchen and sell the house, and are still a little so-so in the faith department and are ready to ratchet things up a notch - I'd suggest least a bible study, or a trip to the local Catholic Book store and peruse(sp?) the aisles until you find something that will challenge your mind and your spirit. It will lead you to a whole 'nother level.<p>And while you're doing what you're supposed to do = focusing on you and not the marriage, you still never know what God has in store. I'd still Plan A unless your wife is like my ExH and feels like you are the root of all her problems and is marrying the OP and buying a house with them. It would take a miracle in my case - I mean anyone who says that they don't care if the are committing adultery by getting married again without the annulment and that I should just join the "real world" is definitely not living in my real world.<p>Ok. So next time you may think twice before bumping up a post to get my response - or I'll just say. <p>Just fine. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>God Bless, K