I've been married for about a year and half to a great man, but he gets jealous all the time. He gets upset if any man looks at me. I can't talk to him about work because I work with 3 guys and he doesn't like that. I can understand that, but their just co-workers, no more. Is it typical for the husband to be jealous in the first years? It's driving me crazy. He's my one and only and his distrust hurts me. <BR>Help!<p>[This message has been edited by russianut (edited June 07, 2000).]

Welcome Russianut, you've come to the right place! :0) I've been married almost 12 years now and my H has in just the past year started working on his jealousy. Sorry to tell you this but most likely your H's jealousy is not just going to go away. How old is he? Do you sometimes not do things b/c he doesnt want you to? Like going out with a girlfriend, etc. If so, this is how youre giving him power over you and rewarding him for his jealousy. I went through this for many years with my H. He'd get all upset and I would give in and not go wherever it was he didnt want me to go. Just in the past year I have found the courage to stand up for myself and do it anyway. My H said I am forcing him to learn to trust me. Our relationship has been much better since hes started trying to trust me. Your situation may be different, but I'm guessing what I've said may sound familiar to you?? Hope I may have possibly helped in some way.

Yes it is common for Hs, especially newlywed Hs, to be jealous of everybody, men, women, plants, anything that takes your attention of him. This is a sign that he loves you. It's annoying but not bad. Unless he's violent in which case take to Karenna.<P>Introduce him to you co-workers and their wives at a company picnic or party. If they aren't married, comment on how much fashion sense they have and how much they like fine arts!?! Just kidding...not really.<P>You're newlywed so just don't take any overtime or traveling assignments if possible. <P>Most of the time jealousy fades as the years go by, but unfortuantely passion does too.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russianut:<BR><B>Is it typical for the husband to be jealous in the first years? It's driving me crazy. He's my one and only and his distrust hurts me.).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, jealousy is one of those relationship cancers that comes disguised as love. It stems from issues of insecurity, or maybe a break in H/W roles that one expects from their upbringing. <P>Here is an article here about control:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5055_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5055_qa.html</A> <P>It would be best if you could bring your H into the MB program so he could understand what a major lovebuster his control and jealousy is to you. He needs to understand that he will cause his worse nightmares to come true.

Thank you to those who replied. Your advice was great. Definitely helpful. My H and I are working things out. He's trying to work on his jealousy issues. I mentioned this site to him and he seems interested in checking it out. We have a ways to go, but at least he's willing to try. Wish me luck.