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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 156
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 156 |
It's official now - he moved home to mommy and daddy, and I moved with my D. I feel such peace about this...such a relief. Not actually joyful, but at least content and accepting about my future. I have a hope again and that feels wonderful! I thank God for getting me through this terrible past couple of years.
My big dilemma: Keep his last name, go back to my maiden, or take back my 1st ex's for my D's sake??? I don't know why this is so hard for me to decide. I don't really want to be associated with my 1st ex's name, but for my D, it would be a good thing. Keeping my current ex's last name seems pointless, but would be convenient not having to change everything, then going back to my maiden name seems like going so far back.
Any ideas?
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 167
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Joined: Apr 2002
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hopefulgal: I considered taking my maiden name back, and all my friends and family wanted me to, but it is such a hassle changing drivers license, social security, notary, charge cards, etc. that I decided not to. Hopefully, I will marry again some day and I will get rid of stbxh's name. I don't have children to consider though so that might have made a difference. How old is your D? Is she old enough to let her feelings be known? A friend of mine did not take back her first husband's name back and her teenage son could not have cared less.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,690
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Joined: Oct 2001
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How old is your daughter?
Do I understand correctly that you don't currently have the same name as her? How is that working out?
My kids are okay with me having a different last name. It was hyphenated when I was married, so it's always been different from theirs; it was no big deal when I went back to my maiden.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 156
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 156 |
She's 10. I have my STBXH's last name right now. She handled it fine when we married and I took his name and has no problems w/my name being different than hers. I guess I'll just talk to her and that may help me make my decision.
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 144
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 144 |
That's a good idea to talk to your daughter but also think about what you want. How do you want to be known? I'm in the position that my maiden name never meant anything to me, never knew my real father, it was just a cause for questions. I have been known by my married name just as long as I was my maiden, so its not worth the bother of all the name change for me. Now if I had had my step-fathers last name or my grandfathers, I would take either of them in a heartbeat, they meant something to me, something good!
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 265
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I took my maiden surname back because it meant something to me and XH surname didn't. Also I have no children, so the less I am reminded of him the better. Although some accounts etc are still in married surname I will still change everything back. I needed a clean break (still not totally clean.... argh). You need to decide whether you want his surname for life.... I have also decided if I ever do get re-married ( and I doubt it) I will keep my maiden surname...
...thats just me....
Pantha
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