I don't have many friends other than my H. And none of them are men or live in this town. But I am curious, when does a friendship become and emotional affair?<P>I'd like to know. My mom gave me the e-mail address of a childhood friend of the family today. I'll call him "Scott". We had a lot of good times together growing up. He's married and has a family and so do I. Is it appropriate to be e-mailing? I haven't done anything yet. <P>His dad and mine are business partners and have been for 25 years. "Scott" is a junior partner. Our moms are best friends. Scott and I were like brother and sister from K through 12 grade, but after seeing these forums I just don't know if having a male friend to e-mail is right.<P>Any comments?

I'd say this is dangerous water to tread, esp. given that you are left a bit lonely in your marriage. Too many folks start something like this very innocently, only to have it blow up on them.<P>My vote is "no".<P>Take care.<P>Kathi

My opinion, not a good thing. You're welcome to check out my posts. Even if the friendship never became an EA, in general it's not a good idea to become BestFriends with someone outside your marriage. Your spouse will at some point become less your soul mate and the OtherFriendship will acquire its own obligations which in time will mean putting your spouse's feelings second. And it's a slow, splintery skid downhill from there.<P>I'm learning that opposite sex friendships are dangerous with married people. Sounds old-fashioned, but those old folks have been around a long time and seen a lot of life, and that's why their opinions are so conservative.

Don't do it.<BR>I had an e-mail friend, and our messages were about 70% scripture oriented, and the other 30% were just things about the kids, cooking, general topics.<BR>It wasn't a secret, either - didn't need to be.<BR>My wife was very angry and she said it was an EA. It's not necessarily a matter of what it is, but what it may be perceived to be.

I think it all depends on what kind of relationship you are pursuing with him. Whether you are only maintaining a friendship or whether you are getting emotionally involved. <P>I think that once you get emotionally involved it becomes a danger. I can relate to your situation. But in my case I'm the one who has a spouse who is trying to spark up "friendships" with other women. I know that it hurts my feelings -- deeply -- to find out that my husband is trying to find an emotional connection with someone other than me. <P>I think that if you can be honest with your husband and tell him about your relationship with "Scott" then you're probably not on the verge of an AE. But if you feel you can't tell him about it then there's probably a reason why and that may be because you're letting your relationship with "Scott" go too far.<BR>