My H and I have reached a point in our relationship where everything seems bland, at least for me. HE never seems to notice anything. I registered to this sight hoping to gain some insight and be able to grow, not only in myself, but in my marriage. My H refuses to read anything that coud be cataloged as "self help." As though it makes him less of a husband or father to endeavor in anything that didn't originate within his own mind. Any advice as to help him see that education is the key to prevention, NOT an admission of a problem???

his4life:<P>You said:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I registered to this site hoping to gain some insight and be able to grow, not only in myself, but in my marriage.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>This is a great place for that. There is tons of information in the "concepts" and Q&A sections, as well as the articles and "food for thought". In addition, Harley's books are terrific. I typically recommend "Give and Take" first, followed by either His Needs/Her Needs or Lovebusters, depending on the issues in your relationship. And finally, the phone counseling that is offered through MarriageBuilders is exceptional: Dr. Harley's children (Steve and Jennifer) do the work, and I've counseled with Steve for quite some time and found him to be the most effective counselor/coach I've ever had.<P>So---there's nothing stopping YOU from doing this. So do it. You bring up the issue of your husband's unwillingness to read the material---that's not necessary for the marriage to improve. He can learn from you setting an example. It's certainly easier if both spouses are "on board" with the program, but more often than not, it's one spouse who starts first (certainly this was true in my case).<P>So, go and read, learn the stuff. If you have problems applying it, or you're not seeing the results you want, I'd highly recommend at least a couple sessions with Steve or Jenn.