Hey y'all for those of you who posted on my h's health scare I am here to tell you the biopsy came back negative. It ended up being a disease called sarcoidosis...

Anyway some things have happened during that time that has caused my h to leave me 2 days after surgery. He has been extremely upset with me, and has told me the reason being is that I wasn't what he needed me to be during that time.

He told me that he was the one maybe dying and he felt like he had to console me because I was upset. I was upset I didn't mean to be I was trying to be and act normal but it was hard. I told my family because I needed to release it and have comfort because I couldn't turn to him. So he is resentful and bitter that I couldn't and wouldn't give him what he says he so desperately needed.

He's treated me like dirt lately, all around all this health scare of his. I'm confused but I feel oddly ready for this as well. I am tired of all the the problems as well I've gone 12 yrs feeling like I loved a man that didn't love me back.

He even admits to neglecting me, he says it as a word but I feel that word deep inside. I was neglected, sexually, emotionally, in conversation, and even spending time with me. I couldn't even hug him without him always pulling away first.

He and I got into a bicker not a major thing he got right in my face screaming at me and I told him to get out of my face he was like 2 inches. He went downstairs and told me he couldn't stand me, called me a b*tch and told me he needed to get away. He left at 9:30am didn't return until after 10:00pm, I caught him as I was pulling in. He sped away and I followed him he tried to get away but I wouldn't let him.

He told me to go home read a letter and call him so I did the letter told me that he needed time and maybe I should leave for a week. I told him if he needed time he needed to take it and not ask me with the kids to leave. He told me how I have buried him for the last 12 yrs...

When he came back all he did was tell me how bad I've been to him and how he just couldn't take it anymore and asked himself how and why he was for so many yrs. Then asked me if I wanted him to stay and I said if you feel like you can't be civil enough to be violent and you feel like I've been so bad to you that you feel the need to be violent then maybe we do need a break he said let me say goodbye to the kids. He walked back to his truck and he already had a suitcase packed, I told him he is trying to put all this on me so he can say he didn't leave me I left him, he had 8 changes of clothes in his suitcase.

I am taking my nephews home in 2 weeks he told me to call and let him know when I will be out of the house so he can stay here when I'm gone...

Someone please be the person looking inside from the outside why is my life feeling so insane? What is going on? Help me please...

Thanks, Toni