My husband walked out the door (it is already July 7 here).

I have wondered how I would feel about this day, because here in Australia, we cannot file for divorce until a year of separation has passed.

If you have read my other posts, you'll know I got to the point of acceptance a while back, and I am actually at peace with divorce. I am filing myself, which is something I said I would never do. I used to say, he made the mess, let HIM do it. But now I am filing because it says something to me about my self respect.

I am not sad, I am not angry, I am not really feeling much of anything. I fully expect stbx to file his own papers; maybe that will have some effect on me. I just don't know.

I did find out yesterday that because he is overseas the process takes a little longer. So even if I filed tomorrow, I need to add 42 days after him being served for him to respond, and then after it gets to court, we have to wait a month and a day before it is final. So that is still around 80 days.

Wonder if I can go around the world in that time!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Oh well, just keeping everyone updated.

Love and light,

Jacky

Hello Australia: It was less than a year ago that two of my friends from Melbourne visited the States and me (in my newly soon-to-be-divorced state). I never knew about the waiting period of a year in Australia, but hey, the lawyers can't be as expensive as they are here. And, unfortunately, I WAS MARRIED TO ONE! I will never tell my 5 yr old daughter to marry a doctor or a lawyer ... I mean, come on. That would be child abuse. (hmm... come to think of it, was my father guilty of that?)

Although you aren't divorced yet, I can tell you my life free of AH lawyer-man husband is much happier -- I had nowhere to go but happier. Incidentally, my D-Day is in a few days (7/9/2000). They say two years, but I have a feeling with me it'll take a little longer. At least I am in the healing stage and not the "hellish" marriage I was in. All the best to you.

I am told that here in the US (in a community property state), if custody is going to be an issue, there is advantage to filing first. fwiw.

Thanks gaiaa,

I have heard this before, but my lawyer tells me that custody is not an issue. I have temporary sole custody of the children, and the most he can ask for is 50/50, which they do not seem to give after the X has been out of the childrens' lives for as long as he has. It would be seen as a major disruption to the children's lives, and therefore not desirable. We think he will end up with 104 days per year.

Way to go Jackie. I am happy to see you are moving forward as always, you have worked hard and you deserve to be happy. I know divorce never is a happy thing, but I have seen your life improve so much in the past year.

Palms,

Unfortunately lawyers are expensive here too, but necessary sometimes. Luckilt for me, I found one who is worth the money...a rare thing.

Thank you jabber,

It is because of this site and people like you that the changes in me have occurred. I know I could never have gotten this far without this place.

Love and light,

Jacky