My ex wife has come crawling back and is begging for another chance and even suggested we could marry again some day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

That is NOT going to happen. A year ago this would have been a dream come true but now all I can think is ekkkk!!! I told her that I was quite happy being able to date other women and thanked her for opening up the single world to me. I know that was immature but she had a lot of nerve trying to get me to take her back. The MM she was seeing went back to his wife and she is now alone. I have primary custody of our kids so she is pretty much alone. Oh well, her life and not my problem anymore.

T1

Well, I guess the answer is "it depends"

A good friend of mine recently remarried her ex after 20+ of divorce. They have grown children and grandchildren together. We all, including the 'children', are still in shock. So, it is possible.

Hell no! Nuff Said! Plain and simple! Cut and dried! Why would I do something like that? I would be a complete idiot!

I am a lot like you in this regard. A year ago I was willing, I stayed with her for a couple of days not too long ago and woke up one morning and said "Steve! What the hell are you doing here?" I told her that I felt like I was the OM and didn't feel comfortable so I left with the kids! I haven't been back! All the suffering that I went through, all of the sleepless nights, all the heartache and got the chance to take her back on my terms and didn't want it! Huh? Well imagine that!

Sad but true! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Tell me about it. I could have her right now if I wanted her on my terms. I just don't love her anymore. It would be insane. I really hope she can get her life together it just won't be with me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

T1

No way!!!

Too much water under that bridge. I've spent the better part of a year giving back to myself the things I gave up to be with him. That of course was all part of the problem, but that's another thread.

We learn from our mistakes, or we should at least try too.

Having said what I have, I have to say that I agree Gaiaa on the "depends" part. It is just that I have been through infidelity four times and I forgave and forgot the first three times. I just wasn't man enough to forgive and forget anymore.

If we would have gotten divorced after the third time, I think that I would have been fool enough to go back to her. Facts are that she does have problems with this (being faithful) and needs to address them. Another reason that I couldn't go back to her is I don't think I could treat her the way she deserves to be treated. (I mean that sincerely) I would always have the affairs in the back of my head. I have forgiven her but that doesn't mean that I trust her or want her back!

JMHO

<small>[ July 06, 2002, 10:27 PM: Message edited by: Roughneck ]</small>

i went through too much nasuea, confusion, self-doubt and hard work to get where I am. For my stbxw to ask would be too weird. I think about it all the time, but I remember the sleepless nights and near vomiting I went through as she was making her decision to stay or go.

Put myself trough all that again? I am not a complete idiot.

No way...I know too much about the real him now <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I am enjoying this new life. I never thought I would, but I do.

(I have no doubt that one day he will come knocking at my door, but it shut a while ago, and isn't about to open again for him.

maybe

but it take a whole lot of crawling on his part, not the least would be crawling through a very large Texas sized field of fire ants <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> & then we talk

NO WAY, first the love is gone along with the pain from him leaving home to be with another man's wife the age of my oldest son. our 13 yr old son told me he doesnt want his dad to come home saying he cheated on you once mom he will do it again if he comes home. a year ago I tried everything to make him stay he wouldnt give MOW up. now I see what a fool I was.

m-17 yrs, 9 months
X-42 W-48
C-13, 28, 7 gd
D-5-23-02

mow-29yrs old
M-10 yrs
D-pending
C-3 under 10

As she is right no way, I'd be scared.....

A Broken woman who hit bottom and got herself together and her only peace of mind was to focus and put her family back together....Chances would be greater....It would have to be her passion..

Absolutely not. He married OW 4 days after our divorce was final, just 2 months after our final seperation, so it is not an option anyway. But even if he wasn't married, no way. I see clearly the type of man he is, and am MUCH happier off the roller coaster he put me on. I gave everything I had into trying to save our marriage, and when he abandoned me (8 months pregnant and 2 other small children) it killed the love I had for him. I now see how imperative it is to marry a Godly man. I wish that had been higher on my list of priorities 10 years ago.

Not ever, not under any circumstances. 3 and a half years after separation, 5 years after the start of affair/relationship with nasty young thing (still with her!),who he has ultimately become is not anyone I would even want to acknowledge the existance of! He is the father of our children, I cannot change that, so do have to acknowledge this aspect in my life's dealings with the children,but that is all......

my friends and family would institutionalize me I would hope.

Oh boy, I can sure relate to your story T1.

It's been just a little over two years since my divorce from my multiple A loving, sexual addict xWW, and she too has come back in the last ten months with pleas of forgiveness and to take her back. Just like you if this had happened two years ago it would have been a 'dream come true' but now it is too late and I have found love with another woman. The interesting thing is that her pleas started just two months after I started my relationship with my gf, and I have my suspicions that this in of itself was the main reason why she started pleading me to take her back. I guess in her fogged up world she never thought for one minute that I was going to find another woman to love and would love me back, and when reality reared it's ugly head, she woke up to the fact that she no longer could count on yours truly to take her back.

Even if there was any love left in me for her and no other woman in my life, it would still be a bad idea to take her back because she would be returning more out of fear than love. And once that fear subsided ,after taking her back, she would go back to beign her usual self. No, she would have to prove to me ,with actions, that she was a changed woman worthy of receiving my love and protection. Not to mention, I have our two daughters - I have custody of them - to think about as well, and how taking her back would affect them, since both of them were emotionally damaged by her A's, requiring counseling with a child psychologist.

Nope! First, I don't love him and don't like the person he is. Second, I don't think my new hubby would be too happy with that! LOL LOL

maybe a year ago I would have took her back, I have come to far with out her. I remember the sleepless nights, the tears and pain. I have since realized that there are to many good people who care, I see how she hurt me for along time and I just accepted it. It is funny now because I realize what a favor she did me when she left.

Reasons to take x back:
1) my economic status would improve

Reasons not to take x back:
1) he's gotten really fat
2) he's still not nice to me
3) he's no good in bed
4) my friends think he is/was a jerk
5) my therapist(s) would want to have me committed

I gues my answer is this:
NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!!!!!!

No. Maybe 6 months ago......but he is too far gone now...and he has hurt me so much. I don't know how I could do it. He really started a whole new life. I'm not in it.....and now he will not be in mine.

I just hope that (when I'm ready).... I can find someone that will treat me with some respect. I haven't felt that in a long time.

Max

Hmmmmmmm - funny, I have the same pro and con list as cinderella.

Right now listening to ExH and OW is like listening to tweedle dee and tweedle dumm.

I can't even imagine being married to Ex anymore - I didn't think that he acted and sounded so stupid when he was married to me.

I think that our Exs have all changed for the worse, while we have all changed for the better - so naturally we now want better!

ExH would have to undergo a complete conversion as well as a radical personality change because he's sunk so low to OW's level that I couldn't even get down there. And now that's the example of a man my boys are getting. Heaven help them please! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

No. And that's my final answer. K

Not a snowball's chance ...

see just about ANY of my posts on this forum and you'll know why <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />