Would I take her back??
Why should I? I guess I have to use the analogy of: I used to drive a hoop-de-ville old car - but NOW I drive a Cadillac... Do YOU know anyone who would give up a nice shiny Caddy for an old raggedy car?
My ex - Hoop-De-Ville car
My Wife - New Shiny Cadillac (with NorthStar Options)
I always said, "You gotta go thru hell to get to Heaven" - and I'm in Heaven right now with the most wonderful woman God ever created - my TRUE SoulMate! Do you really think I'd want to return to my former way of life with my former wife who's anthem was: "It's ALL about me." NOT!!!

You decide...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Harold <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I should have divorced her years ago, and I chickened out twice. . . now that i am, i have better sex alone in my apartment than with her. .

i can carry on a conversation on MB longer than I could with the X in person. . .

i prefer not to be expected to be a man servant to a mental midget. . .

if she even suggested it, I would laugh in her face.

Sorry,
I obviously belong to the minority of MBs
Yes, I would take my ex back whenever it happens.
I agree that love cannot die or disappear cause he made a mistake. I simply can't switch off this love what I feel for him thruout these 23 yrs. Yes, I'd take care of his son also, like he is mine...but my ex is also so proud that, unfortunately, I think he'd hardly come back and confess he made a mistake, whatever his new life'd look like now and in future.
I deeply believe that he will regret one day for what he did , and hope that his pride will diminish till that day.
It seems to me that only two people who believe in that miracle would happen are dr W Harley (with whom I am e-mailing for last two yrs) and me.
I'll let you know if he was/is right.
D

<small>[ July 31, 2002, 03:41 AM: Message edited by: betrayed and desperate ]</small>

Not even she was the last woman on earth. There is too much anger and damage done to even make me go back or take her back.I'm quite happy with the person I am with now and my life is alot better.

231

Not a chance...I would rather have bamboo sticks jammed under my fingernails hourly. It is bad enough I have to live in the same state

Yes, I also would take my WH back. We aren't divorced yet, but I suspect he will file
after our year is up. (We've been apart 8 months now). He's in love with OW and even
though he's lied to me, and been incredibly deceitful over the past few years, I choose
to believe there is still a good heart in there somewhere, buried beneath the fog.
He was in most respects a good husband, but allowed himself to be lured into a relationship
with OW, and has decided he needs her more than me or our family. If he was truly
repentant, first towards God and then me, I'd definitely want him back. 23 years of
marriage is too long to give up on quickly. Furthermore, how do you stop loving someone
you've loved for so many years, given that you believe they are acting this way because
Satan has blinded them with lies and deceit? Just my thoughts..

Having been together for 20 years and believing my STBXH was the love of my life, it's hard to say I'd never consider taking him back. We had our problems, but he was a wonderful husband when he was sober, but drugs and alcohol have robbed him of his soul (something he used to tell me during his almost 10 years of sobriety).

I couldn't possibly take him back the way he is today - and I very much doubt he'd want to come back, considering he's blaming me for everything wrong in his life - and there's lots wrong!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> No way,,
I don't like beening alone but I didn't like the way I was treated either.. HMMMM let me think long and hard.. UH Ok I'm done NO....

I surely wish she would take me back. I hurt her and told her that I felt nothing for her, then left with OW wich incidentally called her up to torture her withouth me knowing (just found out 3 weeks ago about that little detail). My psychologist tells me I was depressed, that I am only human and humans make mistakes. I repented, I have apologized to her and to her parents, and although our children are 4 and 2, I apologized to them while they slept. I have been plan A'ing her and on a 1-10 scale I would say I am at a 7 right now. She still scared, confused and angry. This was 8 mo. ago, D final 3/02. I was wrong, want to save my family and believe she still loves me but does not know what to do with the anger and the images of me with OW (never saw us but imaginary).

like I said, I truly wish she would take me back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

If XW could ever start telling the truth I would take her back in a heartbeat. She was brought up in a household where lying and deceiving was the norm and the only thing wrong with that is if you get caught. Of course then it is always some elses fault.

She was a mess when I met her and in 9 years she hasn't changed. I still love her and miss her, but I know she has to turn her life around on her own.

The answer is NO I would not take her back the way she is.

hi all, this is my first post. i was very interested in what all had to say. i will briefly tell my story, i dated h for 2.5 yrs before marrying him, we were married for 9.5 years and he divorced me may 2001. i did not want the divorce, i had asked him to pick the addiction or the family, who in God's name would have thought he would pick the addiction? keep in mind he is in deep denial. i am the only one who knows his addiction and my family and a few friends his family does not. i guess i became a real threat now that i knew his dirty little secret. my answer to that question is, i know that God did not want me to live with a man who was totally thoughtless to me and the children. do i think he can change(repent) -sure but it has be him who wants to, i can not will it. would i talk him back, not at this time, i am currently in my recovery, when you have been abused by an addict for 11.5 yrs he takes and takes and takes till you have nothing left, so now i am working on him. i spoke to a recovering sex addict and he told me that my h would have to "crash and burn" well he looks pretty bad, but he said last year that he has never been happier since he left the family. becareful what you wish for, because you may get it. so "taking him back" is a tough one, he is no where near recovery because he is still in such deep denial and delusion, so i will not live with and acitve addict for another day of my life, if he repents and is in recovery and other cirumstances are the way they are i would think about it, but the repentive man is the man i am looking for, but i will not go to my grave waiting for him, i will wait for the Lord to show me the way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I have only been d. since June and my answer...

If things changed a whole lot. I'm different now and I want someone who is like me, someone who believes in God and someone who has goals and dreams other than being a rock star. I love him, but I am no longer in love with him. I will not be in a relationship where I am not "in love" because I deserve that. I told him to give me a year (because he wants me now that we're d.) and if after a year I felt totally at peace with being with him, than ok, but God will not allow me to feel at peace until it is the right thing. I guess my answer is.....If God made it clear to me that I should than, yes I would regardless.

I would take my WH-stbx back if he were to change. He has stated over and over that he is happy with who he is. Well, that is not for me. But if he were to be a considerate, loving man, that was in-love with me, yes, but who he is now, definitely NO!!! He is callous, cold, uncaring, and down right abusive emotionally, mentally, and verbally. This man has struck out too many times to all of us, and we all are done with the abuse. I still love him, but the love is changing to caring love. So SAD so SAD!!!

Interesting thread.

Even after all the sleepless nights, days of nothing but tears, loneliness.......

I would take my wife back. And would show her more love than she has ever known.

I did marry her after all