have been married for 8 yrs. known her for 12. have 3 kids together. she 30 me 31.

2 yrs ago started an affair with OW (her sister). know it was wrong but got very emotionally attached to her and couldn't break it off. suddenly OW met someone and 1 mo later is engaged and pregnant. not sure if its mine. OW broke it off suddenly just about time she says she got pregnant.

unfortunately, i worked for wifes father for last 10 yrs. i think he found out about my affair from wife and am now unemployed.

this all deeply depressed me, but talked to wife about everything and am trying to work it out. (wifes known since OW told me to get lost).

we've tried counseling but i feel constantly berated by counselor. tried it on my own too but they only wanted to talk about OW.

somedays are much harder than others. just had a hard day, wife was away i had kids. asked my wifes other sister to come watch kids for a while. after she left i got drunk. wife came home upset. haven't seen her since. she is at her fathers who won't let me talk to her or kids. tried to get police to open discussion but he only told police that i'm suicidal and they were going to court tommorrow.

never saw myself in this predicament. don't know where to turn.

Are you sure you don't know where to turn? Or is it that you just don't want to go there?

You've got to turn around and take a good hard look at yourself, I think. But it sounds like you've resisted previous attempts from people to help you do that.

You "tried" counseling, but you didn't like what you heard, huh? Well, sometimes what we don't want to hear is what we need to hear. And sometimes what we wish we could just ignore or forget about is exactly what we most need to address.

Your post is all about things that just seemed to happen to you. You knew your affair was wrong, but you "couldn't" break it off. You are now unemployed because "unfortunately" your employer was your father-in-law.

You say "this" all deeply depressed you, as if your experiences were out of your control and a result of bad fortune. But, it sure looks to me as if your experiences are predictable consequences of your own choices. Frankly, I don't see how you have a right to be depressed.

Except that that's probably what's most depressing of all.

You are caught in a trap, and the most painful thing about it is that, whether you are willing to admit it to yourself or not, it is a trap of your own making.

But admitting it is the first step out of the trap.

You think that your counselor(s) "only wanted to talk about OW." Although that's the way it may have seemed, I suspect what they really wanted to talk about was your self-destructive behavior. You're not going to be able understand that until you face the reality of what you did.

Until you face yourself.

I'm not going to tell you that that's easy, because it's not. It may well be the hardest thing you ever do - if you decide to do it.

But I think I can guarantee you this: you will never be happy until and unless you make that decision.

I hope you do.