I want someone who is nice and caring, who doesn't cheat, lie and commit adultery, someone with morals and character. In other words, someone totally unlike my stbxh.

I've been wanting to add to my list but I see that a lot of the things I've been thinking about have been mentioned. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm feeling risky today (I'm also feeling risque, but that's a whole 'nother topic <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ) so I'd like to seriously mention attractiveness as a desireable trait.

My definition of attractiveness really has very little to do with a person's appearance, though that can be important. I don't mean a person's weight or physical build or style of dress, I mean the way they carry themselves.

I've been watching people lately and thinking a lot about this. You really can tell a lot about a person by looking at how they walk and where they look. Are they smiling, or smirking? Sometimes it's hard to tell, but if you spend a few minutes watching their eyes and talking with them, it's a dead giveaway.

I've seen women that dress nicely and have shapely bodies, but their body language just screams haughty contempt. Verry unnattractive. I've also seen plain women who may carry some extra weight but have self-confidence and poise even in blue jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt. Even if the t-shirt has spit-up on it and the blue jeans have holes in the knees. To me, that's much more attractive.

Anna, you mentioned happiness as a trait. I agree completely. In your description you used the word "content". That's soooo important to me. There's a relaxed serenity that comes from someone who is content.

Gotta run now, I've misplaced my relaxed serentity...

<small>[ July 11, 2002, 05:35 PM: Message edited by: o2bsane ]</small>

Lady's you all described me to a T!! I guess I'll make some lucky lady a prize catch someday! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I'm doing the single Dad thing with two great kids so socializing time is rare for me. I'm still pretty tired from the struggle of trying to save a marriage so looking is out of the question right now, but if I was:

1. Honesty - After getting lied to for most of my married life this is number one.
2. Integrity - Do what you say, say what you mean, ask yourself are you everything you dream.
3. Self confident - You are not capable of loving someone else if you do not love yourself first. A women who has found what she is looking for in life is very attractive.
4. Family commitment - Must be committed to family. Without family and friends we have nothing.
5. Intelligent
6. Sense of humor - It would be nice to have someone laugh at my lame jokes once in a while.
7. Recreational companionship - Must like the outdoors. Hiking, camping, fishing, etc. Bass boat optional. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
8. Affection - lot's and lot's!
9. Sexual fullfillment - see above.
10. Acceptance - She needs to accept me for who I am. I will never be rich or famous, but I will show her what love, honor and commitment really is.

My need is simple: I would love to meet a man who can be faithful. Why I seem to attract those who haven't been, I don't know. I need either to not dwell on that or do some serious soul-searching. Either I am too nice and easy or I am someone who makes men want to get back at me for something within them (i.e. mother, anger at women). Heck, I DON'T KNOW! By the way, I am not some clingy, unstable woman. I am stable, independent, outgoing and attractive (of course, I could stand to lose 20 lbs.) but what man doesn't have the same characteristics? Why are women (on the average) so faithful and men are dogs to us? We are human beings first -- or, maybe they are a little shallow to GET that.

I found what I was looking for when I wasn't even looking. And I latched onto him! LOL

I had actually decided that I wanted to be alone and that I was fine with my life consisting of my kids and work. Then I met Terry...

He's smart...
Funny...
Good looking....
Loves to talk...
Is good with kids...
Everything I want in a man...

If I had stuck to my 2 major rules though, I would never have stayed with him ...
I met him in a bar and he's younger than me! LOL

P.S. Hey Bill!! (WilliamJ)

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ July 11, 2002, 11:33 PM: Message edited by: Mitzi ]</small>

zorweb wrote: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Oh my you really do need to get your imagination going. Two years ago I remarried to a man with custody of his three children. I have one child. When I was looking I purposely sought out a man with children. Why? Because I have a son. I wanted a man who understood the commitment it took to raise children and who understood that my son needed me too. ...

So who would accept you and your 3 kids? A woman with kids of her own, who loves children. She is out there somewhere wondering what man would accept her with her 3 kids.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for the encouragement. You have shown me that it would be desirable for the right woman. My 3 kids + her 3 kids, I'll just have to hire a housekeeper called Alice. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I know it will be a challenge to devote the time that she deserves and still have time for me and my kids. It will be a balancing act. And that is one thing that I will be looking for, that no one has mentioned yet: balance. There are too many people that put most of their focus in one place (such as career.)

E wrote: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> What man would accept me with my two kids?

I had to do that.

I just HAD to.

E <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

P.S. I LOVE children. Even have a degree in child development. Can't get much better than that.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You made your point E.

The lists so far are pretty good. I'd really like someone with a "sense of wonder", appreciation for the outdoors. One who walks hand in hand on a hike.

I don't have a list yet, and I am sure that I will put things on the list (such as SF, affection, ability to talk about anything) that were lacking in my last relationship. One notices what is missing. I must make sure that I know what I had that is important to me, so I can put that on the list too.

Do you feel that you are not fooling yourself into thinking that Mr. right is an enomole? We are all imperfect people in an imperfect world when we see ourselves in this light THEN and only THEN can we begin to forgive and not jugde by our own limited knowledge. You women who aren't willing to look beyond the feeble,finite, mortal man are your own worst enemies!

<small>[ July 14, 2002, 07:06 AM: Message edited by: semipro ]</small>

Although I am not looking, I am trying to preserve and strengthen my marriage, something that has reared its ugly head with my possible divorce has not been raised yet.

I met my wife when I was a carryout at a grocery store. She was a checker. We fell in love with just ourselves, nothing outside. She didn't love me because of anything other than me. Neither of us came from any sort of money at all.

Well over the course of our marriage I have gone to medical school and just finished my residency. After one more year of fellowship I will finally reap the benefits of the post highschool education that has been occurring since 1986.

So one thing is that I will have to find is someone that I can trust loves ME. Not the money that I will be making. This scares me to death, because we worked so hard to get here and I thought that this would never be an issue. Now it has jumped up and really makes me worried. I just don't know what to think. I still hope that my wife will be able to work on our marriage, but I really think that it will take an act of God to have that happen.

Any ideas?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by semipro:
<strong>Do you feel that you are not fooling yourself into thinking that Mr. right is an enomole? We are all imperfect people in an imperfect world when we see ourselves in this light THEN and only THEN can we begin to forgive and not jugde by our own limited knowledge. You women who aren't willing to look beyond the feeble,finite, mortal man are your own worst enemies!</strong>[/QUOTE

Semipro,

Do you mean "anomaly"?

If that's the correct word, then I disagree that "Mr. Right" rarely exist...I would say that "Mr. Perfect" doesn't exist...I wouldn't even say that "Mr. Perfect" is an anomaly, I would say that he doesn't exist at all, neither does "Mrs. Perfect"...but I do believe that there is a Mr. Right and Mrs. Right out there for everyone. As Faith1 said, they won't be perfect but they will be "right" for that person.

As for the people here who posted on this thread, I don't see one person who doesn't understand that we live in an imperfect world with imperfect people, and we all have are own faults and idiosyncrasies, and as individuals we all pick and choose what we can live with in faults and can't live with...Further, I think the person you described who doesn't see people as mortal would be an anomaly.

Why do I get the feeling you are someone who has been on MB a while but using a different name? If so, Why? Is there a reason?

If not welcome to MB. Why don't you share your story with us and let us get to know you better?

ANNA

<small>[ July 14, 2002, 11:59 AM: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</small>

Confused & can't believe,

I sure admired you as I read how you went from grocery sacker to finishing your residency. WOW!

The only advice I have right now is to spend money on counseling, I'd say talk to the Harleys, and also, invite your wife to come on MB immediately.

Good luck,
ANNA

O2BSane,

The more I think about it, the more I think "content" is the #1 thing I'm looking for in a mate. I think a person who is content most of the time shows more positive traits overall than negative, they have very few hang ups, and the chance of cheating or leaving is less.

CJack...

You stated...

Anna2000:

Flexibility, honesty, self control, and sex??? If you find a woman with these qualities, please send her my way!

Cjack,

I'm walkin' your way now... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

LH,

You said, "Will you marry me?" LH, I don't think my eyes could ever measure up to your expectations. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm going to the grocery store with my children now. They've been gone for two weeks and although they are only back for the weekend, we all are appreciating the heck out of each other!

C'ya'll,

ANNA

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by semipro:
<strong>You women who aren't willing to look beyond the feeble,finite, mortal man are your own worst enemies!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Semipro,

It's a very broad sentence that I could take several ways...Can you elaborate on this? I want to make sure I'm understanding it correctly before I respond further to it.

ANNA

Anna,
I'm so glad you figured that one out! I always have dictionary.com open because I'm a terrible speller, and I couldn't find enomole.

I read that post several times, and I'm sorry semipro, I just don't really understand.

Let me take it piece by piece, and if I interpret it wrong, let me know and I can always adjust my take on it and fix my answer accordingly.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Do you feel that you are not fooling yourself into thinking that Mr. right is an enomole? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I feel like I am not fooling myself that Mr. Right is an anomaly. One day I will find a man who will love me and I him. We will marry and aside from the toothpaste cap and toilet seat arguments we will be blissfully happy with all of our children from previous marriages.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> We are all imperfect people in an imperfect world </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Very much so.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> when we see ourselves in this light THEN and only THEN can we begin to forgive and not jugde by our own limited knowledge. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not exactly sure here just what you mean. Whom are we supposed to forgive and not judge? And in what compacity - as a perspective mate?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You women who aren't willing to look beyond the feeble,finite, mortal man are your own worst enemies!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I take this as your suggestion that all women should turn towards a specific religion that you have embraced, and cast aside our quest for a mate and turn instead towards your deity. Please correct me if I am wrong.

I am doing just fine with my religion, and my deity, and happen to enjoy the company of feeble, finite, and mortal men. I am not my own worst enemy, I am a good friend to many including myself.

Semipro, if I have interpreted your post correctly it is most offensive.

Many men answered this post. Why is it that you have singled out the women here? Are men allowed to seek out qualities in a mate that they will find desirable, yet women should just sit and be traded to men by their fathers for a goat without any say in this deal?

I can pray that God chooses to send me a mate who will respect, love, honor, and cherish me. But, if I marry the first fellow that asks without finding out if he will, chances are that I made a pretty stupid decision. God gave me a brain. I'm pretty sure he expects me to use it for more than just a grocery list.

E