Well, for me, yesterday was a long and draining day. Started out at a cousneling appt. at 9:00. That went really well. I have a lot to think about today.
Got done with that and went to a lawyer at 10:15. That appt was hard to judge. We didn't talk much specifics about my case, she just explained the process, costs, etc.
In Indiana, all dissolutions (they don't call it a divorce) are "no fault." There is no proving who was to blame for the breakdown in the marriage. In other words, W's affair mean absolutely nothing as far as the courts are concerned!!!!!!!
The attorney said since she has admitted to them, there is no reason to collect evidence. She told me it will only drive me nuts looking and collecting evidence and it wouldn't be worth the stress. The only way that will help me is I can use it as a bargaining "chip." She told me as long as the OM is not a convicted felon, drug addict, child molester, or someone who will endanger my daughter, the A's are fairly irrelevant!!! I sank into my chair and just about got sick! She puts me through all this hell and I get no vindication.
We would probably be looking at joint custoday unless W screws me and claims that I am an incompetent father. I spend twice as much time with my D than my wife which will help.
All things considered, we are probably looking at a 50/50 split on everything, custody included.
Why does the world just not seem fair today???????????

Didn't make any decisions yesterday. I was just there for a consult.

The weather is great here and the sun is shining but to me it is cloudy and grey.

Encouragement would help today!!!!

Thanks,
Doug

KindaBlue: I, too, live in a no-fault state - Florida. It doesn't seem fair at all does it that our WSs can commit adultery but suffer no punishment from the courts? That is how I felt too, at first. But what good would all the mudslinging prove? It would just drag out the whole process and bring everyone down, especially the BS. I am now at the point where I just want it all over with.

You are at the beginning of the process and I remember how raw my emotions were then (that was 5 months ago). It sounds like you have a good, level headed attorney. Listen to what she says and take any advice she gives you. It is going to be a very emotional time, no doubt about it. Hang in there. Take it one day at a time or one hour at a time if necessary. You will get through this and you will be a much stronger person for it.

I too live in a no fault state, Maine and husband commited Adultry and my lawyer told me to counterclaim adultry would make me look small and not accomplish anything. But I am holding out on some hope that it is not a 50/50 split it is what the court considers fair so if he makes more money than me he should get more debt and if he has more nonmarrital property I get more marrital. But we are in the very early stages I will see how it turns out I am just taking it day by day. Husband does not talk to me or see me. He did email me about some bills but I did not respond, when I emailed him in the past he would not respond so now I am taking a bit of control of may life and doing it the way I want not what he wants and he doesnt like it. He didnt expect me to take charge. So I hope that some good will come out of all of this someday.