Cinderella, you mentioned in the "when was the last time" thread about being a virgin again after 5 years of going without? Is that something Jay Leno came up with or is it a concept with substance?

I have no idea where it came from.

A friend of mine was married to a man who died of AIDS. About 4 or 5 years ago, when her women's group heard that she had not had sex in 7 years, or so, they declared her a virgin again. They figured that anyone who had met that 5 year mark deserved to be considered a virgin again. So, the Wild Women - a non-facilitated women's group declared her a virgin.

About the time I hit the five year mark, I saw a feature on one of the television news magazines, i.e,. 60 Minutes, about the concept of being a born-again virgin. This is/was gaining popularity in some religious circles. Not any one faith but in the broader concept of Christianity. I did not hear about it until a couple of years ago.

So, while I don't think a person would medically qualify, one could possibly be considered, at some point, to be a born-again virgin for emotional purposes.

Just as life has phases, I don't suppose there's any harm in considering yourself to be one if you have made conscious decisions to be involved only in relationships where you choose not to engage in intercourse for certain reasons.

around here if you make it 24 hours your are a virgin. just joking. In a small redneck town Ive never seen so many A going on. Men take better care of their trucks than the woman. Ive got 4 years to go.

gee, I think I have only 18 mths to go <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Thanks cinderella. I'll try to latch onto the born-again virgin concept to hopefully keep me on the straight and narrow. About a month after separation, part of me was coming back to life that I didn't think was there anymore. When I got married, I thought I knew where I would be getting sex from that point forward. Nine years of celibacy later, I'm now counting 60 more days to bankruptcy, and at least another 60 days after that for divorce. I feel *so* unmarried, that it's hard to convince myself that I would be committing adultry if I decided to jump someone's bones. Truly, I wonder if even God sees me as married. So far, I've kept a very low profile and spent a lot of time in solitude. It's been good, but I really need to get back with a social life. My status as a married woman without a marriage, ready to stride into a new social life... it's uncharted territory for me. I worry that the first thing I'll do is hit a major pothole! Words from experienced pothole navigators are welcome!

Well if the 5 year rule works for guys too then I should have no problem. After all this divorce stuff got underway I went from having a sex drive like no other to nothing. I guess looking back at it I did that between girlfriends in high school too...hmmmm....guess unless I have someone there I have no drive...weird. Oh well if things keep up then I should hit the 5 year with ease, heh heh...only 4 years and 9 months to go LOL!

18 months after my divorce, I hit a big pothole. Not proud of it but I did. It was fairly healing but the reality is that, though delayed, it was a rebound relationship. I know it was for him.

After that, there weren't any more potholes until I met the man I'm seeing now. And we discussed it thoroughly for several weeks before making a decision on whether or not sex would be part of the relationship and at what point it might become a part.

Funny part, or sad part, is that when we first started having the discussions, I immediately went out and found a new therapist. It meant I really needed to go address an issue in my past.

I will tell you, though, that I was glad I reached that 5-year goal. I found out about it at around the 2-1/2 year point. It sort of made it fun to have a friend with whom I could share my frustrations. I'm sure I could probably have found someone interested in a romp in the hay. Eventually that's what happened. But it is ever-so-much better when that isn't the goal.