13 year old son came home mad, calling OW bad names. his day to spend time with dad & OW called Dad on phone. X went into another room to talk, made son mad this is his time to be with dad. OW D was finial Friday, dad was preparing him for meeting OW. telling son not to be mad when he dates. Our son knows this is the M-woman who broke up our family & X expects son to welcome her into his new family. Son told me HELL NO. son is still having problems with D & seeing a Dr. for problems about Dad & OW. this was too soon for him to accept his dad with anyone else but mom. Dr. said son thinks if OW goes back home his dad will do the same. X can never come back home & son has said he didnt want him to, but it was a different story to Dr he wants his family back together. X told son that Mom will be dating & he should be allow to do the same, this made me mad I have no plans to date, my child comes first. Dr. said that son doesnt want his mom to date & there will be problems later when I do, son is afraid mom will leave him like Dad did. Tried to get X to talk with son's Dr. but he wont. X is selfish only cares about his life, doesnt care how much he keeps hurting his only child. little suprise that X would bring it up now our court date is tuesday to start appeals, son has said he would not see dad anymore if linda is part of his dads life & X knows this. Son said he doesnt want anything to do with OW 3 boys & could care less about what happens to them, Im not sure what that means. He knows its not their fault their mom slept around while M. I wish X the best with OW but quit hurting our son, give him time to heal. X lives with OW except when son sees him on sun. this should be their day together not OW time to be with X. You cant force someone to love you.

H-42 W-48
M-17 yrs 9 month
C-13,28,7 gd
d-5-23-02

OW-29
M-10 yrs
C-3 under 10
D-needs Judge to sign off

I am sorry for what you are going through, this is tough.

Kids can be a bear in divorces as your X is finding out. If your H does not find a better way to deal with his son, it could interfere with his relationship with OW. Did you know that the leading cause of divorce in second marriages is the husband’s children????

It is also very unlikely that your X and OW’s relationship will last very long even if your son did not object. This is the reason it is not good to include kids in the loop when parents date. OW is not your son’s mother, not even his step-mother. She is his dad’s girl friend. Your son knows this and knows that he does not need to include her in his life. Too bad his father is not as wise.

For you son’s sake I hope that his father and the OW back off on this happy little family idea. Perhaps your son’s counselor can suggest some good books for X and OW to read. A classic is “Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child”.

It looks like for the most part, your son will have to work out his relationship with his dad and OW on his own. Perhaps you and his counselor can help him work through the issues so that he can arrive at a healthy way of handling dad and OW. This is a very volatile time for you son, 13. I have two step children 12 & 14. My son is 13. It has not been easy. They have done just about everything they could do to tear my H and I apart. If we were not so dedicated to our relationship and our parenting I would have been out of here a long time ago.

You are right to not date right now. Your son is your priority. He really needs you right now.