OK.
I had a very weird night last night! If any of you out there aren't familar with my story I am about to move back home to MN from Sweden, where we've lived the past three years, on the 27th of this month. I found out about my WW's third (this time virtual) A in March. Plan A seemed to be ineffective this round.

So anyway. Things have been very "heated" between the two of us since I expressed my desire to leave Sweden and the kids. Last night we attempted to go through all of our joint belongings together and decide who getswhat. NO WAY! It didn't work; we disagreed completely on the first 4 items. I gave up after about 20 minutes of the nonsense and said we should both wait until we are better ready to handle it before we resume. This didn't go over well with my W , and kept demanding that we resume. Her demands got so bad (along with the threats by her) that I went out for my send long walk of the day, 1-1/2 hours.

After returning (about 10:30 p.m.) she immediately started demanding that we resume again. This time she started poking and tickling me to get me to give in. This lasted for about 20 minutes, until I put on my sweatshirt and shoes and went out for my third walk of the day, this time about 30 minutes in duration.
After I returned she went right back into the same thing. She poked and tickled me for over a hour. It got to a point where she was pulling my blanket off of me and even pulled my underwear off. One could say this was bording on sexual, and could of even turned violent given the wrong individuals acting in the situation.

While she was prompting me to resume with the dividing of the belongings, she was also saying things like, "yes, just go back home to mommy and your friends. yes, just go back to MN and find a new W and have new babies." etc. It got strange.

She finally gave up at around 1:30 am. left the light and stereo on in the livingroom where I slept and went to bed.

Has anyone experienced such an event? Is this desperation that I am leaving, or does she just hate me right now?

Sweden

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Sweden,

I don't know if I am going to explain this right or not, but I will try. Many years ago, I did a similar, though not extreme thing with one of my boyfriends...provoking him about his saying we should split up. I was, like your wife, saying sarcastic stuff to him, like "Oh GOOD! Now you can go off and find a NEW girlfriend!!!" and other similar immature things.

I did it to test him in a way, to see if he really WOULD go...which he did, LOL! BUT, I also did it because I was afraid, and all my nice words weren't working, and I was at a loss at what to do, so I hid the fear behind anger and lashed out at him.

I hope this helped.

Love and light,

Jacky

Thanks for the response!
Yes, she does seem desperate...she will be left alone with full responsibility of the 2 kids plus no job. I don't want it to come across like I am abandoning the family, but my feeling is that staying in Sweden would only make it easy for her to get what she wants--part-time freedom from the children, and keeping me in a close place that I would not be at all happy with.

Maybe my real question is if my approach is an effective one? I realize that it isn't any longer a Plan A approach. In fact, it is more along the lines of a Plan B; if you want to have "us" again, you must make the move!!!" This desperation is either the first signs that she could cave in, or just the signs that she really hates me just now.

Sweden

Hi Sweden,

I have a question for you. Is she Swedish? Because this will make my reply to you different. Please let me know. BTW I use to live in Finland. Please let me know.

Sorry about everything.

I'm curious about the kids. Are these your children? Are you planning to do some kind of custody/visitation?

I can't imagine leaving my children behind.

Sorry for the delay!
Yes, she is Swedish, which one could say makes matters worse because it seems that almost everyone in this country is divorced, or has been. It's the national past-time! To make matters even worse, I feel, we live in a "collective house" where most of the occupants of the building are single parents. It also serves as a support mechanism for the decisions to move forward with the D.

Yes, my WW and I have two great kids together. Our D is 6 and S is 3. I almost can't stand the thought of leaving them, but I also don't think I will find any happiness staying here in a foreign country with no support mechanism.

It has been agreed that the kids can travel to MN during summers and maybe during X-mas. This depends also largely on the financial situation with both of us.

Sweden

So Sweden, are you back in MN?

What else is going on?

Haven't heard from you for a while.

Ss

Sweden:

Sorry I missed this thread!

Hey, I just thought of something. Would it be possible to counsel with one of the Harleys?

I realize you'd have long distance phone charges on top of the session fee, but since Sweden doesn't seem to have anybody interested in saving your M, AND it just might be possible that your W doesn't want you to leave (though it's hard to tell!), maybe it'd be worth it?

I dunno.

bump for Sweden??